Long Way to Heaven
by China Dolly
Summary: “So, Fujisakikun, I think I found a way to loosen you up. You need to find yourself a girlfriend.” And one Hell of an emotion rollercoaster that will be for poor Suguru. Only that it won't be a girl he'll be looking for... Please R
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Long Way to Heaven  
**Summary: "**So, Fujisaki-kun, I think I found a way to loosen you up. You need to find yourself a girlfriend." And one Hell of an emotion rollercoaster that will be for poor Suguru.  
**Chapters: **1/3  
**Warnings: **Perhaps some cursing and a bit of shounen ai.  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gravitation or any of its characters. Only one in this story is mine.

_And I want to thank **Sakuma Sonnet **for pointing out my horrible mistake._

**Part 1**

He felt the huge urge to just stand up and throw the gorgeous white vase that stood on the table in front of him against the wall. Shuichi was late, again, as always. He growled as he stared out of the window in the lobby of NG-Corporations. Hiro sat next to him, leaning against the back of the chair and gazing out of the window.

'How can it be Shindou-kun's behaviour isn't annoying you, Nakano-kun?'

'It is annoying me. But there's really not that much we can do about it, now can we?' Hiro questioned as he turned towards the green-haired boy with a grin. 'I just try to put up with it. We always have our work finished on time anyway.'

'Finished on time, yeah yeah.' He muttered darkly as he let himself slide down on his chair. Just a couple minutes later the doors opened and Suguru's head shot up in the hopes of it being the pink-haired vocalist. But of course, knowing his luck, it wasn't. It was Thoma Seguchi, his boss, cousin and biggest rival. He nodded his head with a small smile, managing to get the words: 'Ohayou Seguchi-san,' out without too much anger and under-the-surface laying annoyance. The blonde-haired synth-player turned around and smiled his always-flashing smile towards the two sagged musicians.

'Is Shindou-san late again?' He questioned and Suguru let out a loud sigh and Hiro shook his head. 'As always,'

'Of course,' Thoma answered him with a grin. 'But then again, that's to be expected of Shindou-san, now isn't it?'

'Of course it is, he's Shuichi.' Suguru grumbled as he crossed his arms and stared to the floor with a heated glare. 'Suguru-kun, leave the floor in one piece please. Those holes you're trying to burn into it certainly won't be cheap to fix.' Thoma said and Suguru's head shot up. 'What did you call me?'

'Suguru-kun. Why? Can't I call you that? We are family, after all.' He said smiling that "I know better than you" smile he seemed to have a patent on. 'Yeah, that we are, but -'

'La-li-ho! Sorry I'm late!' A pink bubble-gum wave of hair flew by and with wide eyes both Hiro and Suguru watched their vocalist sprint towards the recording room, turning around at the end of the hall-way and yelling: 'C'mon you two! Don't want to be late!'

'Ass!' Suguru called after him as he jumped up and gave chase after the pink-haired man. Hiro was left sniggering at the childish antics of his two friends and band-members. 'He's eighteen now, but he sure doesn't act it.' Hiro turned around as he heard Thoma Seguchi speak and he saw the blonde man gazing after the two. He had a thoughtful expression on his face, which made Hiro wonder if the man meant what he'd said. 'He's a reserved person. He doesn't let go expect when he's playing his music. Shuichi is always trying to make him loosen up a bit, and he thinks this is the way. At first I disagreed, but he insisted. He said that after being in Bad Luck for two years now he deserved to have a change like this.'

'You disagreed at first.' Thoma said, turning towards Hiro, suddenly staring at him with an icy glare. 'What do you think now?'

'Now? I think it's actually working, Seguchi-san. And if you don't mind now, I have to go otherwise K's going after my head.' He said with an uncomfortable smile as he turned away from his boss with a nod, walking into the same direction Shuichi and Suguru ran off. At that moment he felt Thoma Seguchi's gaze following his every move and he swallowed. He didn't know what he did wrong, but he had a feeling it was better not to mention Suguru around him anymore if he didn't want the man mad.

* * *

'You're late,' he heard his manager say and as he looked up he could see Hiro standing in the doorway, gun to his head. 'I was talking with Seguchi-san.' He answered and Suguru looked at him with a questioning glance before bending himself over his synthesizer again. It wasn't his business anyway what his cousin and band-member were talking about. Although curiosity started to eat him, he still didn't ask. And when he lost his focus because he worried for God knows why he also didn't ask.

It was now twelve o'clock and Suguru, Hiro and Shuichi were sitting at a table, eating their early lunch. Today wasn't a busy day, so K had decided to let them off for a long lunch today. Be it their manager's migraine or just his good mood that let them go, they didn't care.

'So, only one place to go and we're up on Nittle Grasper!' Shuichi exclaimed happily and Hiro laughed at the happy words of his friend. 'Yeah, finally we worked ourselves up to this place. It's great, don't you think so, Fujisaki-kun?' Hiro asked as he turned his head towards the green-haired synth-player, who was staring out of the window with an unfocused look in his eyes.

'Uh, Fujisaki-kun?' Hiro asked but Suguru just kept staring out of the window. The young boy was thinking about his cousin, as he mostly did now a days. The building success of Bad luck was the best thing that ever happened to him. But still, he hadn't passed by his cousin. That was the only thing he now wanted to do, the only –

'Hey, Suguru Fujisaki, you home?' Startled brown eyes turned towards Hiro and Suguru blinked to get focused again. 'What?' He questioned softly and his eyebrow twitched in an annoying way when Shuichi and Hiro both snickered. 'What?' He demanded, his voice now back to the harsher kind it usually was. Immediately the snickering stopped and two sets of eyes watched him with quite some interest. 'Amazing how fast your mood goes from soft to harsh, Suguru-kun.' Shuichi said with a grin and Suguru scowled at the pink-haired vocalist. 'It's Fujisaki, thank you very much. And just shut up, will you?'

'Sheesh, no need to say it that hard, Suguru-kun.'

'Shindou-kun -'

'What? What's with you and formalities anyway? We know each other for at least two years now! I think we have at least a little right to call you by your first name.' Shuichi shot back and when Suguru just ignored him and looked down to the table he send a pleading look towards Hiro. 'Fujisaki-kun. We just want to be friends with you. Aren't we your friends?'

'You are.' Suguru whispered. 'Then why won't you let us call you by your first name, like most friends do?' Hiro asked and Suguru looked up, forlorn. 'Just because Tohma...' He started and his eyes grew wide at the idea of telling his two "friends" what was spooking in his head right now. So he broke off his sentence and said: 'Just because.'

'So it has something to do with Seguchi-san?' Shuichi questioned, laughter playing in his voice for being proud to be the first to remark that. 'No,' Suguru said as he suddenly stood up, pressing both his palms hard against the table, making his fingers go white in the progress. He breathed in a couple of times and looked up to his two band-mates. 'I'm going back to practice.' He huffed and stormed off.

Stupid Shuichi. Why does that ass always have to stick his nose into my business? He thought as the almost run through the hallway towards the recording room. People who saw him going by raised a brow and their eyes would stare after him in pity. That poor boy, they would think. His cousin probably scolded that poor boy, again.

'Argh, stop it!' Suguru yelled at himself as he suddenly leaned against a wall. He laid his hand on his forehead and brushed his hair out of his face, looking towards the ground with sad eyes. Of course, people didn't think that, but inside Suguru's head they did. In his eyes, people always felt pity on him when he was mad. Someone must've upset that poor boy. Damnit, he thought, people always think I'm just a kid. Especially Tohma. He sighed and let his body slide down against the wall. He didn't want Tohma to see him as a kid. He wanted the respect of the man he'd always looked up to and worked hard for. But the only thing Tohma ever seemed to do was treat him like a child or a stranger. And then this afternoon the man had called him Suguru-kun. He didn't want Tohma calling him that, not anymore. When he was little, Tohma would call him Suguru-kun. A name said without formalities, like he called Tohma back then. In the days the man played with him, spent more time with him than to only tell him to just work harder or go bother someone else with his childish problems with Shindou.

It frustrated and angered him endlessly that the person he once looked up to so much now treated him like just... one of his fucking stupid employees. He didn't want to be treated like that. He wanted to be treated equally to Ryuichi Sakuma. To Mika-chan. To Tohma himself. Have the respect that he deserved for what he did and to have him say more to him than "hello" and "goodbye" each day.

* * *

'Look Kumagoro, it's Fujisaki-kun!'

'Huh?'

'Come with me, na no da!'

'W-what?'

'Didn't you hear me, silly? Come with me, na no da!'

With wide eyes Suguru stared at Sakuma Ryuichi, who was at the moment kneeling before him, grinning like mad and holding the pink stuffed bunny at the side of his head. To be honest, he had no clue as to why the singer of Nittle Grasper wanted him to come. He'd never really talked to him, only at parties at Tohma's when he was younger. And at NG he never really got the chance to talk to the guy. So why on Earth would he want for him to come?

'Why?'

'Because Tohma-chan was talking about you and now I want to bring you to him as a present of Kumagoro and me.' He said but Suguru shook his head. 'N-no, wait. I don't want to see him.' He objected but Ryuichi just shook his head and pushed his pink bunny into Suguru's hands. 'You'll come with me, na no da? You can hold Kumagoro if you want.' He said, smiling charmingly at the 18-year old. 'Thanks,' Suguru answered as he crawled up, smiling at Ryuichi.

'Tohma-chan! I've brought a present!' Ryuichi yelled as he barged into Tohma's office. 'Ah, Ryuichi-kun, what's the...' Suguru heard his cousin start, 'where's Kumagoro?'

'Your present is borrowing it! C'mon, Fujisaki-kun.' Ryuichi said and Suguru appeared in the doorway, holding the pink rabbit tightly. 'Suguru-kun.' Tohma said, a small smile appearing on his face. But Suguru just stood in the door opening, rabbit dangling from his right hand. At the moment he was wondering why again he'd come with the vocalist to see his cousin. 'C'mon, Fujisaki-kun, sit down with me!' Ryuichi suddenly said, pulling Suguru out of his daze and walking towards a chair near Tohma's desk. He sat down, putting Kumagoro onto his lap and looking towards the ground. 'Suguru-kun, how are you?' Tohma suddenly asked and with a shake of his head Suguru glared at his cousin through his green bangs. 'Fujisaki-kun.' He corrected and Tohma's features drew together for a moment. 'Fine then, if that pleases you. But I asked how you were.' Tohma said, lips forming a firm line and eyebrows drawing together in a sign of annoyance. 'For you, fine enough.' Suguru said grumpily and Tohma sighed as he laid a hand on his forehead. 'Ryuichi-kun,' Tohma started and the man looked up with a sad face. 'Tohma-chan doesn't like my present?'

'Oh, no. I love the present. But now I want to talk to him, alone.' He said, smiling his always charmingly smile towards his band-member. 'Okay! You'll bring Kumagoro back later, na no da?' He asked Suguru and the boy nodded calmly. At least, it seemed. Because at the inside he was screaming and yelling at himself that he should go back with Sakuma Ryuichi and bolt towards the recording room. But of course, this was Tohma Seguchi, and people just didn't bolt on Tohma Seguchi.

'What's wrong with you, Suguru?' Tohma demanded the moment Ryuichi had left the room and Suguru held the pink rabbit close to his chest. 'Fujisaki, if you please. And there's nothing wrong with me besides the fact my break is over.'

'I call you whatever I want, Suguru-kun. You are my cousin and I don't have to deal with the formalities like others. And as your cousin I ask you what's wrong with you.' Tohma stated but as he looked up to see his younger cousin squeezing Ryuichi's rabbit close, his gaze softened. And so did his words. 'I'm starting to get worried about you.'

'There's no reason to, really. I'm fine, Seguchi-san.'

'Suguru... what ever happened to the Toh-chan you used to call me?' Tohma suddenly asked and Suguru gasped. Toh-chan... That called back memories.

A five year old, running in the park right into the arms of his older cousin. 'Toh-chan, Toh-chan!' He yelled. The blonde just laughed but as the green-haired boy said 'I'll grow up just like you!' a shadow fell over his face. Tohma had always said he shouldn't become like him. That it wasn't worth it. But now Suguru decided, he didn't want to become like his cousin, he wanted to be more. He wanted to prove he wasn't the kid from the park anymore, but that now he had his own ideas. His own goals to achieve.

'I'm not a kid anymore,'

'That doesn't mean you've lost all rights to call me that. Although I've seemed to lost all rights to call you by anything expect your last name.' Tohma said, and Suguru heard blame playing in his cousins voice, making him feel guilty. He had to admit he was acting rather cold. He sighed as he dropped his head, forehead resting on top of Kumagoro's head. What was wrong with him anyway? Snapping at his cousin like that. Perhaps he just needed a good night of sleep. Yeah, a good night of sleep and a long talk with Tomiko would help.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, words muffled a bit by the rabbit but Tohma still heard them, 'Tohma-kun.' And Tohma smiled. 'It's okay.' He said, and when Suguru was at the door, he whispered: 'Fujisaki-kun.' Making Suguru laugh at the irony of his words.

* * *

It was five in the afternoon when the lift doors swung open and Suguru stepped onto the third flour of the apartment building he was staying in. He was eighteen now and had been living in a apartment that Tohma financed for him for several months already. He was tired of his parents never being around and rather had his own lonely place then one where there just missed two persons.

'Fujisaki-kun. You're back early today.' A cheerful voice suddenly called to him and he looked up. 202, Tomiko Satohashi, the 21-year old woman that lived next to him smiled at him from her doorway. Almost everyday when he returned from work he would drink a cup of tea with the girl. She always knew when he would arrive back home because of the elevator. Her long, black hair was pulled back into a low-hanging ponytail and with her too big shirt, too big shorts and socks 'till her knees she certainly didn't look her age. And that's what Suguru liked most of her. She didn't look her age, but was accepted that way.

'Yeah, K was in a good mood today.'

'Hmm, I'll say. So, I was just starting dinner. What do you say, wanna join me?'

'Yes, that would be nice Satohashi-chan.' Suguru said as he followed the girl into her apartment, hearing her let out a laugh. 'Gods, Fujisaki, don't make me feel old yet. I'm only 21… It's Tomiko, if you please.' She said and Suguru nodded. 'I'll try, Tomiko-chan.' He said, testing the name on his tongue. It didn't roll out of his mouth as easily as Satohashi-chan, but he thought he could at least try. To pay her back at least this little gratitude for her caring personality and daily Jasmine tea.

Folding his knees to one side Suguru sat down at the low dinner table while Tomiko was putting the different types of food and plates on the table. 'So, Fujisaki-kun, how long do you think you can avoid it?'

'Avoid what, Sato- uh, Tomiko-chan?' Suguru questioned as the young woman sat down opposite of him. Gods, learning how to say her name like this would probably take ages!

'Avoid to tell me what put you off so much today.'

'Nothing put me off.'

'No, and my great-great-grandmother was the queen of England.'

'She wasn't.' Suguru deadpanned and Tomiko sighed. 'Of course she wasn't! Now shoo, tell me what's wrong. I'm not studying for Welfare Worker for nothing.'

'Oh yeah, and one hell of a Welfare Worker you'll be.' Suguru rolled his eyes and got scowled at for his comment. 'Yeah, I will. Now, Fujisaki, tell me what's wrong or I'll cut your balls.'

'Like Hell!' Suguru shrieked and Tomiko grinned. 'Hell yeah,'

'Ugh, shut up. Tohma's just been nagging me, okay.' Suguru said and Tomiko smiled in an understanding way. 'Him again, huh.' She said and Suguru rolled his eyes.

Tomiko was a nice girl and had become a good friend of his. She was curious to his whole life and doings at work, but didn't out it in the annoying way Shuichi did. The first day the girl immediately asked Suguru to join her for tea. They'd become good friends after that and since last week Suguru also started to voice his complains at the girl. Not about her, but about his work. Shuichi was mostly the victim of his hard words but the girl also noticed that Shuichi was mentioned less and less and Tohma more and more.

'Yeah, him again. But, anyway. How was your day?' Suguru asked as he always did, changing the subject.

* * *

'Fujisaki-kun, for Gods sake! Try to focus, please.' K scolded and Suguru flinched at the tone of his manager's voice. He looked down at the keys of his synthesizer and sighed softly. 'Yes K-san.' He whispered and closed his eyes, trying to get the beat again.

'Fujisaki! I give up. This was at least the fifth time I had to call you to a break,' K started again after five minutes and Suguru just turned his eyes away from his manager. 'Today, I can't work with you. And with Shuichi being jumpy about his date with one Eiri Yuki this coming weekend he isn't very capable either. Fresh and working, in two days time. And for this, all of you, out!'

'We can go?' Shuichi asked, his head turning towards K in light speed. 'Yes! Now out, before I change my mind.'

A little lost he stood in front of Hiro's motor-cycle. Hiro had asked him to come over to his apartment, for a little "bonding-session" he said. Suguru almost dropped the helmet he was holding in his hands when Hiro laid a hand on his shoulder. He was so busy intently glaring at the motor he hadn't noticed his friend.

'You okay, Fujisaki-kun?'

'No way I'm going to ride that thing, Nakano-kun.' He said and scowled at the vehicle. To be honest, he was terrified of riding the thing and probably would continue to do so for a very long time.

'Then how,' Hiro stated to ask between snickers Suguru just started to notice now, 'are you planning to get to my place.'

'The bus?' Suguru questioned and Hiro shook his head, grinning. 'You've got any money? No. And walking will take too long. Come on, Fujisaki-kun! It's only a ten minute drive.'

'No.'

'Please?'

'No!'

'Fujisaki-kuun,'

'Shut up you big baby, you sound like Shindou.' Suguru bit back and Hiro rolled his eyes. 'Whatever, just come on. If you die while on the back of that thing I'll pay for your funeral.' But Suguru just shook his head and glared at his red-haired friend.

'Suguru-kun... uh, sorry,' Hiro apologized as he scratched the back of his head. 'Fujisaki-kun,' he corrected himself. 'There's nothing to be afraid of. Okay? Just come, because I really don't want to walk.'

'You would walk with me?' Suguru questioned as he frowned. 'Of course I would, you're my friend.'

'O, then, I think,' Suguru started and hesitated a little bit. He was questioning himself if he should do it or not. Because, come one, he wouldn't let people do it. Not when he suggested it himself. But he'd known Hiro for two years now, and Shuichi too. So perhaps it was time to let those two notice he cared more about them than shit. 'I think Suguru-kun is fine then.' He whispered and Hiro smiled. 'Thank you, Suguru-kun. Now, you want to get on the back of my motor now?'

'No,' Suguru said and glared. 'Don't misuse my good mood, Hiroshi-kun.' He threatened and Hiro lifted an eyebrow. 'Well, when you start loosening up, there's no stopping you, eh?'

'Shut up,' Suguru said as he looked down. 'I just had a good talk with someone.'

'Hey, that's no reason to look down. Now, get you but on that motor or I will let you walk.' Hiro said and after one last word of protest and a nasty look at the motor he suspiciously walked towards Hiro.

Never again would Suguru Fujisaki ride a motorcycle. Never again, he decided. He hated the feeling of being pressed up that close to a person. He hated the cold wind and he would never get on the back of Hiro's motor again.

'I hate you,' he hissed as he glared at Hiro. 'What?' Hiro asked as he raised his hands. 'I said I hated you,' Suguru said back, still glaring.

'You do that a lot, you know.' Hiro suddenly remarked as the two of them started to climb the stairs to his small apartment. 'Do what?'

'Glare.'

'Probably a family thing.' Suguru snorted as Hiro opened the front door for him. 'Why's that so? Seguchi-san doesn't glare much, does he?' Hiro asked as he threw his jacket onto a chair and opened the 'fridge, holding up a bottle of beer for Suguru. With a nod Suguru grabbed it from him and sat down onto the couch, turning his head towards the window. 'He isn't my only family.'

'But he's the only one I -' Hiro started but Suguru interrupted him with a snort. He turned his head towards the TV and moved the fingers of his right hand over the neck of the bottle. 'Yes, I know. Just think further than him. He's only my cousin. I've got parents too.'

'And boy do I see them a lot,' Hiro replied sarcastically and Suguru turned his head sharply. 'Shut up, damnit, just shut up.' He snapped and Hiro raised a brow at the sudden change of mood. And at the word-choice. Suguru never cursed, ever. 'I'm sorry,' he apologized and Suguru shook his head, lips forming in a thin line. 'Yeah, whatever.'

'Suguru-kun, I'm really sorry.' Hiro said as he turned his head to look at his friend. But Suguru was just staring at the black screen of the TV and sighed. 'I know, they all are.'

'What do you mean?'

'Just how I said it. They all are sorry. For me and with me.' Suguru said and turned his head towards Hiro. 'For being the cousin of the one-and-only Tohma Seguchi.' He hissed and stood up. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' He grunted as he disappeared through the front door.

With a sigh Hiro leaned against the back of the couch and stroked a hand through his hair. Why was that boy so hard to figure out? He turned his gaze towards the table and saw the now empty bottle of beer standing there. He shook his head. 'You're as easy to understand as a Greek text, Suguru Fujisaki.'

* * *

'I think it's time for a long talk to build up the team-spirit again. Because I certainly think it's lacking a bit the past week.' K said as he pushed his hands hard down onto the table. His gaze slid over all the band members but rested on Suguru who snorted and turned his head away.

'Honestly, I feel as if we're back to the moment Seguchi-san told you two you'd get a new member. It's ridiculous and we certainly can't work with it. So unless you try to change you attitude of the past week, Fujisaki-kun, I have to take measures.' He said and Suguru sighed with a small nod. He didn't like it to get a scolding from his manager with his two band members there. It was embarrassing and only extra criticism to push his nose onto the fact his focus wasn't a 100 the past few days. He knew he had been slacking. He knew that even though he tried loosening up his attitude was more irritated than before. But that didn't mean someone had to actually tell him that so bluntly!

'Fujisaki, will you at least try to say it?' K said and Suguru looked up with a puzzled look. 'What?'

'Try to say you'll try. You know, verbal contact.'

'Okay,' Suguru snorted, 'I'll try, fine?'

'Good. Now, all get back to practice. We've got no time to waste.' K said and obediently everybody stood up and walked back to their places, this time including Suguru.

Practice went well and at the early time of 5 o'clock the band could go. But when walking in the halls of NG together with Hiro and Shuichi his cousin spoke to them. He asked if everything was all right, and as always towards Tohma Seguchi, they politely answered things were fine. But afterwards Tohma had claimed wanting to speak to Suguru. Which came to the current situation. Suguru sitting in a chair in Tohma's office, glaring at the man.

'You can glare all you want. It's not as if it'll hurt me.' Tohma said and Suguru scowled for a moment before setting back to his glare. For a moment Tohma sighed and touched his right hand to his forehead before he looked at Suguru with a firm gaze. 'K told me of your behavior of the past week. Irritated, sulky, difficult to talk to and not able to focus properly? Suguru, this made me wonder when you're going to stop with that childish attitude and act your age again.'

Suguru sighed in a way that Tohma thought ridiculously dramatic and turned his head towards the window. First K and now his cousin? Gods, with all this he wouldn't be surprised if suddenly his parents also started worrying. Which would be the ultimate sign that Hell had indeed frozen over if it hadn't happened already. 'I am acting my age.' He said firmly as he looked at his cousin. 'No, you're not. You're acting like a spoiled sixteen year old teenager.'

'Tohma, I am a teenager! Stop bugging me already. Everything's fine.' He said and Tohma shook his head. 'No, it's not. You've been loosing weight, you can't concentrate and I've heard Bad Luck's latest recording and you sound awful in it. If this goes on much longer, you're going to stay with me and Mika until this is over.'

'I can take care of myself good enough, thank you very much.'

'Well, seemingly you can't. And as you said yourself, you're still a teenager.' Tohma said with an icy glare that made Suguru shudder for a moment. At that moment he really wanted to get away from Tohma. The man was always like this when wanting to get something the other didn't want to give. Use their own words against them in his own advantage. 'Tohma, I've got to go. Tomiko-chan is waiting for me.'

'You've got a girlfriend then, Suguru?' Tohma asked and Suguru turned when he stood at the door. He wanted to say that no, she wasn't his girlfriend. But he just smirked and said: 'None of your business,' and walked out.

When returning home he groaned at himself, now realizing that probably the half of NG would know about this. He was in for it now.

* * *

At the moment he was sitting cross-legged on the carpeted ground at the low table in Tomiko's living room. A cup of hot tea stood in front of him and when he looked at the other side of the table he could see Tomiko sipping hear tea, the hot steam making her cheeks flush. Suguru shivered. Never had he understood how the girl could drink hot tea just like that, before letting it cool down or blowing some of the heat away.

'I hate Tohma.' He suddenly scowled and Tomiko snickered. 'Well, obviously.'

'He's just so... so, Tohma! Argh!' He said and Tomiko started giggling. 'You mean he's so much like you because he's your cousin and is a synthesizer player too. Or because –if I have to believe you- he's arrogant, irritating and never minding his own business.'

'What do you think?' Suguru asked with a glare. 'The second one.'

'Of course,' Tomiko said, rolling her eyes. 'Men!' She sighed then, dramatically bringing her hand to her forehead. 'Never admitting they like someone!'

'Watch it, you're on unstable grounds now.' Suguru growled and the girl tsk-ed at him. 'Loosen up somewhere in the near future, will you, Fujisaki-kun?' She asked and grinned as Suguru stuck out his tongue at her. 'Don't make me hate you for being like Shindou and Tohma.' He said and now Tomiko snorted as she put her cup down onto the table. 'No, really, you have to. Not to me, but to those other people you hang around with. And from what I hear especially to Shindou and Nakano.'

'I probably should, yeah. But, I got mad at him yesterday.'

'At who?' Tomiko asked and raised a brow. 'At Hiroshi-kun.' He spoke and looked down to the table. Right now he felt really guilty for getting mad at the man yesterday. Today at work Hiro had avoided talking to him and for some reason had it hurt Suguru more than expected.

After five minutes or so Tomiko rose a brow, now understanding that Suguru's silence meant he surely wasn't going to talk about it. 'So, Fujisaki-kun, I think I found a way to loosen you up.' She said and Suguru's head snapped up, eyes almost in fear. What in the name of God had the girl come up with now? He questioned himself as he nodded for her to tell. She grinned and tipped her head to the side, saying: 'You need to find yourself a girlfriend.'

'A girlfriend?' Suguru shrieked and looked at Tomiko as if in horror. How could she ask that of him? He never looked at girls! Well, not in _that _way. He had once, well, _looked._ But that certainly wasn't a girl, he remembered. But then again, next to that, he'd never really had an interest in having a relationship. Not with his job.

'I don't think I'm that much of a relationship person.' He said and Tomiko raised her shoulders. 'It's whatever you want it to be.'

* * *

He found that today went well, actually. He could concentrate a little more, although the same couldn't actually be said about his health at the moment. He was now suffering a huge headache that even though how many aspirins he would throw in, wouldn't go away. He sighed heavily and weaved his right hand through his bangs. Sometimes, life could be so complicated. He leaned his elbows onto the tabletop as he raised a brow, gazing towards the other side of the room where Shuichi was talking with Ryuichi.

They were doing it on their own, hyperactive way and as Shuichi turned his head and grinned at him, Suguru gave a small wave back. He sighed and turned his head towards the window, gazing outside. Hiro was gone this afternoon, and he and Shuichi were supposed to write a song, which of course, only Suguru was doing. But because of his headache, he couldn't concentrate on writing that much so he had mainly given up on that almost half an hour ago.

Now he was pondering on whether or not he should walk up to the two vocalists and have a talk with them. He couldn't sit still and just do nothing forever, and it wasn't like the two were planning on getting to work again any time soon. Certainly not Ryuichi, because he knew Tohma was in a meeting now and Noriko was on the other side of the country with her husband and daughter. Why he was here, he didn't know but he was, and he was keeping Shuichi from his work. So why not stop working too? K wasn't around to scold them so it wasn't like that was going to be a problem. With a sigh he brushed his bangs out of his eyes and pushed himself up.

**TBC.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Long Way to Heaven  
**Summary: "**So, Fujisaki-kun, I think I found a way to loosen you up. You need to find yourself a girlfriend." And one Hell of an emotion rollercoaster that will be for poor Suguru.  
**Chapters: **2/3  
**Warnings: **Perhaps some cursing and a bit of shounen ai.  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gravitation or any of its characters. Only one in this story is mine.

_I'd also like to thank my **reviewers **for pointing out my mistakes.  
__Thank you so much!_

**Part 2**

He gazed at the little jumping figures on the TV and yawned. 'You really watch this?'

'Sometimes, yes.' Hiro called from the kitchen and Suguru sighed. When Hiro walked in again and sat down next to Suguru he looked at Hiro. 'That's just so... boring.' He said, at lack of better words. 'Where's your phone?'

'Behind the couch, on the small table.' Hiro said with a small wave as he watched Suguru turn around and look over the back of the couch. With a grin Suguru picked up the phone and dialed Tomiko's number. He had promised to call her. And it felt good to hear her voice on the other side of the line. And he smiled as she started to twaddle about his cousin.

'Moshi moshi, Tomiko speaking.'

'Tomiko-chan, it's me.' Suguru said as he played with the loose cords on Hiro's couch. Meanwhile the other man was studying him with an interesting gaze. Never had he actually seen Suguru as relaxed as he was now, talking to that girl. And from somewhere he got the feeling that this boy, wanting to be a man so much, on his couch, was the real Suguru Fujisaki. And in Hiro's opinion, he was adorable. He wasn't smiling, but his eyes were sparkling happily. He sat with his feet folded under his knees and he looked like he was sixteen again. A soft smile found its way to Hiro's lips, but if faltered the moment that Suguru blushed. What, he wondered, were the two talking about?

'Hi there me. Have you found yourself a girlfriend yet?'

'Tomiko-chan,' Suguru started as he blushed, 'stop it.'

'But why would I? I can just imagine your blushing face! So tell me, who's next to you?' The excited voice of Tomiko sounded over the phone. 'Hiroshi-kun is.'

'Ooo, nice. You apologized yet?'

'No, not yet.'

'Well are you going to?'

'Probably not,' Suguru said as he traced a pattern with his index finger on the couch. Hiro raised a brow at the conversation. Wondering why the two were talking about him. It was really irritating to follow a one-sided conversation, especially when it is about you.

'Why not?' The girl whined and Suguru snickered. 'It's your idea. Plus, he's not mad at me.'

'I know someone who is.'

'Please, leave my cousin out of this.'

'O, he must be so pissed you stormed out of his house!'

'Hey, I didn't tell you that.' Suguru said, raising a brow. 'You're almost as see-through as a sieve.'

'Funny, thanks.'

'I take it you're not going home by the way.'

'Not planning on it.' He said as he made his hand a fist. 'You staying with Nakano-kun tonight?'

'Don't know.'

'You'll call me tomorrow.'

'Certainly.'

'Okay, bye bye. Sweet dreams.'

'I don't like that underlying tone. What are you implying?' He said and he heard Tomiko laugh. 'Nothing. Just that perhaps you don't need a girlfriend.'

'Good.'

'More like a boyfriend.'

'Tomiko!' Suguru yelled, face red in embarrassment. But the girl had already hung up on him and he sighed heavily. He turned towards Hiro with an apologetic smile on his face and tipped his head to the side for a moment. 'Sorry. That must've been so rude.'

'It's okay.' Hiro said as he laid his hand on Suguru's shoulder for a moment. 'It was interesting enough. First of all, you've actually got a personal life besides Bad Luck.' He said, earning himself a playful punch from Suguru on his arm. 'And I know that you think I'm nice enough to talk about in your personal life.'

'I'm here now. I really can't get besides the point that now you and Shindou-kun are a part of my personal life.'

'Thank you, Suguru-kun. That's a lot for you to say.' Hiro said with a sparkling smile. Suguru smiled back and leaned against the back of the couch, completely comfortable.

He sat on the couch, eyes drooping slightly, and the irritating voices of the hyperactive persons on the television were the only thing keeping him awake. His head was resting on the back of the couch and his feet were dangling off the side of the couch, sock clad toes barely touching the ground. At the moment, on the verge of sleep, he wasn't thinking of the problems that were occupying him in the day. He softly murmured something understandable and Hiro turned his head away from the television, towards his friend. And he smiled.

At the moment Suguru was completely relaxed and in Hiro's opinion, looked totally innocent. His closed eyes and slightly flushed cheeks. The small smile on his lips and his way to big socks around his feet, barely touching the ground. His right hand resting – perhaps a bit uncomfortably – under his body and his left arm dangling over his chest. His dark-green hair sprawled over the couch and...

Here Hiro's dreaming about Suguru stopped as he bend forwards and gently shook the others shoulders. 'Suguru-kun.' He said softly and Suguru opened his eyes a bit. 'Wha -' He started with a sleep-laden voice but was interrupted by his own yawn. He slowly raised his right hand and brought it towards his mouth, yawn already over when he gently placed it over his mouth.

'I'm sorry.' Hiro said with an apologetic smile towards his friend. 'But your neck was really going to hurt if you kept laying like that.'

'O,' was all Suguru answered before he lay down again. 'Suguru-kun.' Hiro tried again but Suguru just murmured: 'Lemme sleep.' And Hiro snickered. 'Here,' he said as he moved Suguru's head to his shoulder. 'Lean on me.'

'Mmm, 'kay.' Suguru softly whispered back before closing his eyes again. Had he been awake he'd probably moved away and sat up straight to watch the TV again. But right now he was just to relaxed to move. And he fell asleep quickly and Hiro shook his head. When at work Suguru was so concentrated, but when relaxing, he was a totally different person.

The next morning it wasn't the sun that shone into his eyes that woke him up. Nor was it Hiro bustling around the house to get ready for work. No, it was the ringing phone that woke him up. It took him at most twelve seconds to open his eyes, rub the sleep out of his eyes and sit up. Because he knew who it was calling. Well, probably.

'Damnit!' He heard Hiro swear as the man stumbled into the room, hair a mess and yawning widely. 'Hiroshi Nakano.' He said, stifling a yawn as he picked up the phone. Suguru looked intently as his friends face and saw him frown as he shot a look at Suguru. 'Yes, why?' He said, and Suguru now knew for sure. It was Tohma calling. 'Yeah, if he's awake. Let me check for a moment, Seguchi-san.' Hiro said and laid the phone down onto the small table by the window. 'Do or don't?' He asked Suguru and he shook his head. 'Don't.' He said and Hiro nodded. 'I'm sorry, Seguchi-san.' He said as he picked up the phone again, flashing Suguru a wink. 'He's still sleeping, I'm sorry. Shall I tell him you've called when he wakes up?' He said, frowning at the phone again for a moment. 'All right... we can? That's great. Yes I'll tell him... Yes, I'll call him... Good day Seguchi-san.' With a polite smile on his face, as if Tohma was standing right in front of him, Hiro hung up and turned to Suguru with a grin. 'K has got some stuff to do today. If we promise to finish the new song by the end of next week, we're free to go around.'

'We're free today?' Suguru asked. 'Yeah,' Hiro sighed and suddenly frowned. 'You don't want to know why your cousin called?'

'No, I already do. He's probably standing here at the front door in a couple of hours if I know him good enough. And I swear you, I do.'

* * *

And Suguru was right. Because two hours later, when they had both dressed, showered, eaten breakfast and Suguru had tamed his hair into his normal style, Tohma was standing in front of the door, right after they'd both had a laughing attack at something on the TV Hiro'd made a comment about.

A little flustered with a little red staining his cheeks of laughing Suguru stood at the door, his laugh immediately changing into a glare as he saw his cousin standing in front of Hiro. 'Good morning Nakano-san, Suguru-kun.' Tohma said while answering Suguru's glare with the same cold eyes. 'Good morning Seguchi-san. What can I do for you?'

'I'd like to speak to my cousin.' He said, cold eyes now turning to Hiro and making the other man shudder. 'If you don't mind.' Tohma said, waiting for Hiro to move away. But Hiro ignored Tohma's words and turned to Suguru. They younger boy gave a nod with a small smile, saying it was fine. With a shrug Hiro moved inside and Suguru turned his head back to his cousin with a defiant glare. 'What?'

'I would have at least expected a phone call from you. I'm really disappointed. You do realize that you're a disgrace to your mother now, don't you?' Tohma said, his words far colder than he had actually wanted them to be. For a moment Suguru bit his lip, but then he turned his head and looked away from Tohma. 'I didn't feel like calling.' He answered softly, and Tohma snorted. 'You shouldn't have walked away in the first place. You do realize that because I said you could live with me, I am now responsible for you.'

'I'm eighteen, Tohma-san.'

'And not capable enough to take good care of yourself when I see you struggling at work.' Tohma said and Suguru snarled. 'I'm not struggling at work. Everything is going fine and -'

'Tonight you're staying at my house.'

'But!' Suguru started but Tohma raised his hand. 'No, you'll stay there. Or else I have to take drastic measures on some things.'

'You wouldn't...' Suguru said, eyes wide. But Tohma just stared at him with a cold gaze. 'Perhaps.' Tohma answered on a cold voice and Suguru swallowed, nodding right after it. And after Suguru had nodded, Tohma's facial expression changed. His eyes became softer and he actually smiled. 'Good. Then go enjoy your free day. Dinner is at seven, Suguru-kun.'

'Yes, Tohma-san.' Suguru said with a sigh and threw the door closed as Tohma started to turn around.

'That bastard! How dare he do that.'

'Calm down, Suguru-kun.'

'Whatever!'

With a pout Suguru sat down onto the couch and glared at the TV. 'I hate him.' He muttered and snapped his head to the right when he heard Hiro snicker. 'What's so funny?' He snapped and Hiro shook his head with a grin. 'You are.'

'O, and care to enlighten me as to why I am?'

'Just your wanting to be an adult, but when something doesn't go your way you sit on the couch and pout like a ten-year-old that didn't get some candy.' He said and Suguru made a sound that came suspiciously close to "argh". 'Shouldn't you just call Shindou-kun instead of bugging me?' He said and with a shake of his head walked obediently to the phone.

'Shuichi? Ah, we're free today.' Hiro said with a smile and Suguru felt sorry for him. At the moment Shuichi was probably chattering his ear off. 'Ah, that's okay. All right, bye.' Hiro said and hung up, turning towards Suguru with an uneasy smile. 'Glad that's over, aren't you?' Suguru asked. 'He's coming over.'

'He is? O, okay. Then I'll just go.' He said and started to stand up when Hiro strode towards him and pushed him down onto the couch again by his shoulders rather firmly. 'You're not going anywhere. Why would you go if Shuichi comes over? You're a friend. And besides,' he said as he walked towards the small kitchen. 'You wouldn't dare leaving me alone with Shuichi for the day.'

'Oh, yes I would.' He said with a grin as he strolled towards the kitchen himself. Hiro, as he heard Suguru, turned around and saw the evil grin playing on his lips. 'You're staying here. If you go, you have to experience the horrors of my wrath against you.'

'O yeah, and now I'm scared.' Suguru deadpanned and rolled his eyes. But Hiro lunged forwards and started to tickle his sides as he said: 'Here's a preview.'

And Suguru thought that if Hiro didn't stop right now, he would die of laughter. He was a very ticklish person and tears of laughter started to form in his eyes as he tried to stop Hiro. But it was no use. The guitarist's fingers were moving at high speed over his sides and Suguru hiccupped, making Hiro laugh. But Suguru raised his hands, trying to push Hiro away from this blissful torture. And as he took a little step backwards he slipped. 'Wha,' he stretched his hands in front of him and fell against Hiro's chest, making the other man losing his balance in the progress. Within ten seconds the two were laying on the kitchen floor, Suguru on top of Hiro's chest, arms above his head and legs tangled.

A bright blush stained his cheeks, both of laughing and of the embarrassment of the situation. 'S-sorry,' he muttered but Hiro just smiled. 'It's okay.' He answered and smiled up at Suguru. 'I don't mind.' He said, and with the blush still staining his cheeks Suguru scrambled up again, holding out his hand for Hiro. 'Thanks,' he said with a grateful smile as he stood up. Suguru smiled back, but inside, his mind was reeling. _I don't mind._ It was like an irritating song he'd heard on the radio that didn't want to leave his head anymore. The words were twirling in his head, turning up whenever they liked. It made him nervous, and it got him to the point where he didn't know what to think of them.

* * *

'You look as if you've never seen a pizza before, Suguru-kun.' Shuichi teased as he saw the look of disgust crossed with astonishment on Suguru's face. He sniffed distrusting and after that sat down on the couch again with a frown. 'I have seen pizza before. And I love it, well, normally. Yours just looks like... a battlefield. I mean, Gods, how many ingredients can you put on one single pizza?' He asked and Shuichi grinned. 'Well, this is the most the delivery guy can do, I asked him.' Shuichi said with a grin and Hiro snickered too at the look on Suguru's face. 'You asked him.' He repeated with a nod and after that shook his head. 'Okay, it's final. You're insane, Shindou-kun.' He said and with one last look thrown towards the pizza he turned his head towards Hiro, eyes pleading. 'Tell me, please.'

'In one of the cabinets.' Hiro said with a laugh. 'There must be some instant-noodles there.' He said and with a grin Suguru jumped off towards the kitchen. 'No pizza for you then?' Shuichi asked and Suguru shook his head. 'No way. I don't plan to eat pizza as my breakfast anytime soon. Wait, I'm not planning on eating your pizza anytime soon unless there are... reliable ingredients on it.' He snorted as he opened a few cabinets in search for some food he thought could be trusted. 'You haven't eaten breakfast?' Hiro suddenly asked and Suguru turned around with a frown. 'No,'

'You should have.' Hiro said and Suguru walked towards the couch. 'Why does it matter?'

'Because breakfast is -'

'Important. Yeah, so? I'm old enough to decide for myself whether to eat or not.' He said, eyes flashing with a bit of anger. The way Hiro was behaving, just like Tohma. So irritating. He could well enough take care of himself. 'But Suguru-kun, all I am is worried about you. If Seguchi-san is keeping such close tabs on you something must at least be a bit worrisome, right?' He asked, and regretted doing so right after that. Suguru huffed, sat down onto the couch, his arms crossed and did nothing.

Ten minutes later half of the pizza had been eaten, but Suguru hadn't moved or said a thing. Shuichi looked at him with a sideward glance and sighed as he let a piece of pizza drop back onto the table. This boy had issues. Big issues. And from what he had seen, he wasn't admitting he was having them and not trying to solve them in any way. He rolled his eyes, it reminded him so much of him and Yuki back then.

They had had relation issues back then, when they'd just gotten together. Well, he had issues, Yuki had just been completely comfortable with how things went. But Shuichi wasn't. So he threatened that if things wouldn't change, he would leave, for real. And Yuki being Yuki had said that if he wanted to leave he should just "fuck off". And that's what Shuichi had done. He'd stayed with Hiro for a while, and when Yuki asked him back, he said no. He had never wanted this one-sided relationship, he'd said back then. And Yuki had changed, because of him. For him. And now things were going great.

And then there was of course Tatsuha dealing with his Ryuichi Sakuma problems, and Hiro breaking up with Ayaka. Everybody had problems, everybody dealt with them. The only difference was that Suguru just didn't.

'Hiro-kun! I want another pizza!' Shuichi said and Hiro raised a brow at the sudden urge of hunger from the other. 'You want what?'

'Another pizza! Can you go get it for me Hiro, please?' Shuichi said, pulling puppy-dog-eyes on his best friend. Hiro sighed and waved his hand next to his head. 'Of course. You want anything while I'm at it, Suguru-kun?' He asked and Suguru sighed before saying: 'Perhaps if you can find some ramen or noodles. You don't have any here.' He said and Hiro, who was wearing his jacket by now, opened the front door. 'You say he's insane,' he said, pointing towards Shuichi, 'but you're just the same. I'll be back around one, I think.' He said, closing the door behind him as he went.

* * *

With a sigh Suguru leaned both his elbows down onto the small table and stared at Shuichi. He wondered for a moment how the man could eat two whole pizzas at twelve in the morning, still be fit and as enthusiastic as he always was.

'You're staring.' Shuichi suddenly said and Suguru rolled his eyes. 'Well, duh.'

'Of irritation? Because that's what it mostly is when you aren't playing your synthesizer.' Shuichi said and Suguru sighed. 'You pick the crappiest moments to get serious, don't you?'

'Just as you are happy and yourself one moment and the next you're like this. That is a thing that irritates me about you. Did you know that?' Shuichi said but he didn't give Suguru any time to speak up. 'The one moment I think I've finally gotten your friendship, and the next you're off, sulking in a corner. And why, actually? Because if I knew the reason at least I could try to understand! But if you don't say a damned thing, I don't think that I can help you. Nor can Hiro, even though he wants it so badly.'

'Would you understand?' Suguru suddenly yelled, slamming his palms down onto the table and glaring at Shuichi. 'Would you, you honestly think that?' He yelled and Shuichi was taken aback a bit by the sudden out burst. 'Yes, I think I will.' He said but Suguru shook his head with a laugh. 'I can tell, you won't. Your life is perfect.'

'At the moment, yes.' Shuichi said and Suguru cast his eyes downwards, knowing he was talking about him and Yuki. But a moment later he lifted his gaze again, hardening his eyes. 'My life used to be perfect to. Until I became ten years old and everybody noticed my piano play.' He said, pausing and his words got harsher and colder.

'From then on the only thing I've been is compared. Compared to Tohma. In the beginning it wasn't that bad. To be compared to the man that you've always looked up to. It was actually a compliment I even came within his reach.' He said and paused, sitting down on the couch again and staring down to the ground.

'But you know what the problem was? I always was just the kid. The one that just did not reach his cousins level. And I was treated as that. I still am. Tohma-san treats me like I'm still eleven years old. Never respecting my opinion or seeing me for what I really am, never seeing what I really can do. My mother and father always want me to do better.' He said and sighed. 'They want me to be Tohma Seguchi, the wonder child, the world famous keyboardist of Nittle Grasper. They don't realize I'm not. And then there's everybody else, having those expectations of me. Expectations that at the moment, I just can't reach.'

He closed his eyes. He felt drained. Drained of only telling Shuichi what was bothering him.

'We've been exploiting you, haven't we?' Shuichi asked suddenly, to Suguru's surprise. And when he raised his eyes, he could Shuichi sitting at the table, guilt playing in his purple eyes. 'N-no!' Suguru said, raising his hands as if trying to calm Shuichi down like that. 'You haven't.'

'Suguru-kun. For the first time, please just admit that something other than you is doing something wrong.' Shuichi pleaded softly and smiled at Suguru. 'Hiro and I will help you out. I'll rely a little less on you from now on in the band, okay?' He asked and Suguru threw a small smile his way. 'Thanks.'

'I think I should say that. Thanks for trusting me.' He said, and suddenly a wide grin formed onto his lips. O-o, Suguru thought. Shuichi's serious five minutes of this day were over by the looks of it. 'You know, I did some research after our last talk, by the way.' He said with an impish grin. 'Last talk?' Suguru asked, a little uncomfortable at the moment. What on Earth was Shuichi talking about?

'Yeah, you know, about uh... you never had a relationship.'

'Oh,' Suguru said, a slight blush forming on his cheeks, 'that conversation.'

'Yup, that one. Well, I found out that someone likes you.' Shuichi said, shining brightly as he said the words. And Suguru raised a brow at that. 'Yeah, right.' He said and nodded with a little smile. That someone would like him was not a thing that Suguru Fujisaki would willingly think about.

That he would like someone was actually becoming an option for him to think about. That was mostly the case because everybody around him was questioning and telling him to get a girlfriend. And then there was Hiro, who was becoming such a good friend. But the past few days it seemed to him the man had started to act differently towards him. What exactly was wrong, he couldn't place his finger on. But he was sure that he would find that out later. After his problems with Tohma were solved.

'Suguru-kun! You okay? You're spacing out.' Shuichi suddenly said and Suguru's head shot up. 'I- uh... sorry.' He said but Shuichi just shook his head. 'Is okay. I space out too, sometimes. So, what do you think of it?' He continued as if nothing had happened, hyperactive as usual. 'Think of what?'

'Of the fact someone likes you!' Shuichi beamed and Suguru shook his head with a sigh. 'What should I think about it, Shindou-kun?'

'Well, anything but mute, actually.' Shuichi said on a teasing tone. But the teasing tone went right besides Suguru's head as he answered: 'I'm not mute.'

'Well, you're not that happy about someone liking you either.'

'That's just because… uh' Suguru started and looked out of the window with a gaze to the right. 'I never really thought about it.'

'And that's because…'

'Because I never really liked someone,' He said and Shuichi jumped up, and almost skipped towards the couch, before sitting down next to the boy. 'Until now, right?' He asked and Suguru raised a brow. 'And that's because?'

'Because now you know that someone likes you. And when someone likes you, you have to like them at least a bit in return, right?' He asked with hopeful eyes and almost nodding to himself. 'How can I like someone I don't even know likes me?' Suguru asked and Shuichi giggled. 'So inexperienced in love!' He said and Suguru blushed. So what? He thought to himself. Why did that matter anyway? 'Don't you have that giddy feeling in your stomach now? That someone likes you is just a great thing, isn't it?'

'What if I don't like that person in return?'

'Don't be so dense, Suguru-kun! You'll like them, for sure! I even want to promise.' Shuichi said, shinning brightly and smiling widely. 'Ugh,' Suguru leaned back against the couch. How come that at the moment he got the feeling Shuichi knew better who he liked, than he did himself?

'Hey you two, I'm back,' Hiro's voice suddenly called from the front door and Suguru's head shot up to see Hiro standing in the opening of the front door. A cold wind finding it's way inside past his legs. Making Suguru shiver for a moment. But as soon as Hiro raised a brow and looked at him, he didn't shiver anymore. Actually, he felt rather warm. But that probably was because he was wearing a pretty thick sweater.

'You two had a nice and cozy conversation too, I see.' He said, raising a brow as he looked at Shuichi and grinning as he saw a slight blush on Suguru's cheeks. 'Hmm, lately my conversations with Suguru-kun have been really nice!' Shuichi said and Suguru snorted as he turned his head towards the pink haired man. 'That's only because -' He started but grew silent before he had even started his protest. 'Because why?' Shuichi asked and Suguru shook his head. 'Nothing. You're just too much like Tomiko-chan.'

'Tomiko-chan? You've got a girl we're not knowing anything about, Suguru-kun?' Shuichi asked, but Suguru just shook his head. 'Shut up, Shindou-kun.' He said and Shuichi shook his head with a smile. 'It's not her, by the way. Because I don't know her.' He said, and Hiro raised a brow while Suguru chuckled softly. 'Yeah, I had figured that out already.'

And while the two of them understood each other perfectly, Hiro didn't have the slightest clue as to what his two friends were talking about. 'Okay, why don't you eat your pizza, Shuichi. And are you going to make your ramen, Suguru. At least than I can start a conversation I understand.' He said, dropping the pizza onto the table and almost shoving the package of ramen into Suguru's hands.

* * *

With a sigh he shoved his hands a bit deeper into the pockets of his jacket. He kicked up some leaves as he went and looked into a shop window as he walked by it. He wasn't that thin, he frowned. He ate normal, decent sized meals. It wasn't his doing that he just wouldn't gain any weight at all. Although he hated people always fussing over him. His mother, his father, Tohma - of course - and Mika-chan - also an of course -.

He'd always been thin. Once he'd been on a diet, to let him gain more weight. But nothing had helped. He'd just stayed the thin person he'd always been.

He looked himself over in the shop window again with a grim expression on his face. The only disadvantage of being this thin was that people mostly thought he was fifteen years old. It wasn't that he couldn't blame people for thinking him younger than he really was. Next to being thin, he wasn't that big in heights either. And then there was his - as Shuichi had called it once - flawless skin and big eyes. As if some people really need yet another reason to treat me like a child he thought angrily as he strode away from the window with big steps.

He walked inside and he could just feel the door on his right opening. He turned around and saw Tohma standing there, smiling at him. And he could have imagined that smile being genuine and meant. But he wasn't in the mood for that.

'Hello Suguru-kun, welcome home.' Tohma said as he walked a few steps towards Suguru, smile never leaving his face. Home? Suguru was immediately alarmed and he looked at his cousin with a frown. 'How was your day?' Tohma asked, imperturbable by any face Suguru might have pulled on him. 'This place ain't home.' Suguru said, totally ignoring Tohma's question, irritating the man in the progress. 'Home is where the heart is.' Suguru said softly and Tohma frowned.

'And where, if I may ask, is your heart?' He asked, expecting to get an answer such as: NG or My Synthesizer. But instead Suguru just looked down and with a grim smile said: 'nowhere, at the moment. And if people don't stop confusing me anymore, making me mad. I don't think it will go anywhere anytime soon either.'

'Confusing you? Suguru-kun, what are you talking about?' Tohma asked as he laid a hand on his younger cousins shoulder. At the moment he was worried about the younger boy, although Suguru himself didn't seem to realize it. 'Nothing, just nothing. Forget about it.' Suguru said, throwing Tohma's smile right back into his face as he turned to walk up the stairs.

'Thanks for dinner, Mika-chan.' Suguru said with a small smile towards Mika, who smiled back at him. 'Yes, he's right. I loved it, Mika-dear.' Tohma said with a smile towards his wife. 'Although I'm afraid I won't make it to dinner tomorrow.' He said and Mika frowned. 'Why not?'

'With the new album and all, well, I'm staying late tomorrow.' He said and turned towards Suguru. 'How is Bad Luck's new album going?'

'Bad Luck is brining out a new album too?' Mika asked with a frown towards Tohma and a smile at Suguru. 'Yes, and it's going just fine.'

'It is? Well, that's very good news.' Mika said with a smile but Tohma interrupted Suguru's short moment of bliss. 'But what I've heard, last time things weren't going very good.'

'What are you? Spying on me now?' Suguru asked a bit angry, but Tohma answered fast and in harsh words. 'No, should I if you think I am?' And Suguru closed his mouth and glared at his cousin. 'Of course not!' He said so loud it made Mika roll her eyes at the fact yet another fight was starting. 'Good, then things are settled. I just hope that with your current mood swings Bad Luck can produce a good album.'

'I think we can produce fine enough, thank you very much.' Suguru said with a glare as he made the movements to stand up. He was planning to, but because of Tohma's words, he froze midway. 'I don't doubt that Nakano-san and Shindou-san can't produce to their capabilities. I'm only doubting if you can, Suguru-kun.' And Suguru growled. 'Do you think it's actually fun to tell me of my mistakes all the time? I'm getting sick of it!' He yelled and you could see he was angry.

He made a fist of his hand and with one movement shoved his glass off the table. The sound of glass falling apart while touching the ground could be heard and an icy silence had filled the room. For a moment all was silent until Tohma wanted to speak up again. But before he got the change, the sound of the ringing doorbell sounded and Suguru stood up, a somewhat evil grin playing on his lips. 'I'll open it.' He said, and made his way out of the room as fast as he could.

Standing in the hallway he waited a few moments to open the door. He lifted his hands and gazed at them. He'd really done it now. Gods, he was so stupid. He thought, stroking his right hand through his hair. But Tohma had deserved it. How dare the man doubt his capabilities!

With a sigh he pushed himself away from the wall and opened the door, forcing himself to smile.

But in the end, the smile wouldn't have been necessary. Because the only thing that could be seen by the door, were two sheets of paper and a white rose. With a frown Suguru bended and picked it up. There was a small card dangling from the rose he noticed and he grabbed it. It was a normal, white, small card and as he folded it open he was curious for whom the rose was. But to his big surprise, in elegant letters was written: To Suguru Fujisaki.

And a blush appeared on his cheeks, as he looked to the streets, holding the rose close to his chest. Shuichi had been right, he thought. That feeling that someone cared about you… intoxicating.

* * *

A goofy grin was plastered on his face as he lay on his bed. Both his hands were heaved above his head, holding the lyric that had been one of the things lying underneath the rose. The other had been the sheet music of the song. But it seemed that he was just entranced by the lyrics. He couldn't understand someone could care so much about him. That someone could write such a beautiful and heart wrenching lyrics for him. And also, he couldn't understand the feeling that was blossoming up in the pit of his stomach.

_**Long way to Heaven**_

_And they're staring at me, the words I want to say  
__Around me people tell me to throw it away and show you  
__How much I care, how much I want you here_

_I want to tell you, how long I have adored your eyes  
__How long I have watched your gentle fingers make music.  
__And perhaps, that silent yearning is all right  
__But at the moment all I want, is to have you in my arms_

_It were those eyes that made me fall,  
__And now I can tell, it's a long way to Heaven.  
__But even now, I can't grasp that feeling of love.  
__It's overwhelming, coming at me at the strangest moments,  
__Making me overcome with that feeling that is so great, yet so torturous._

_Somehow it just seems, that you're always hiding  
__And all I want is to stop this game of hide-and-seek  
__I want to be able to express, how deep I care_

_I want to show you, how beautiful you are for you don't realize  
__How that inner beauty can be expressed, I can't wait  
__And seeing you smile, is a gift to me  
__Your eyes sparkling as again you play what you adore_

_It were those eyes that made me fall,  
__And now I can tell, it's a long way to Heaven.  
__But even now, I can't grasp that feeling of love.  
__It's overwhelming, coming at me at the strangest moments,  
__Making me overcome with that feeling that is so great, yet so torturous._

_And all I want is  
__To see your eyes sparkling  
__Just for those simple things  
__I give you my soul, opened my heart  
__To make you realize my love  
__To make sure you're happy,  
__OW I can't get enough_

He sighed, a blissful smile on his face. It seemed as if all his problems had melted like snow for the sun. But how? He wondered for a moment. How could it be that the person that had wrote him this lyric, seemed to know him so well? He turned his head towards the small vase, in which he had put the white rose. That beautiful white rose, he thought. That was given to him, and to only him.

Letting his hands fall to his sides, the sheet music fell out from behind the lyrics, hitting his chest softly. He opened his eyes and sat up. He took the sheet music in his hand and took a good look at it. No way, he thought. This is piano music.

A little lightheaded he made his way to the small library in Tohma's house. When he opened the door and walked inside he smiled. By the large window was standing his one time favorite instrument. A big, black grand piano. The thing was always perfectly tuned and the sound that came out of it… this was the instrument Tohma had taught Suguru to play music on. He was five at the time. And from age seven further, when he really learned to appreciate music, he had almost fallen in love with the piano. It would always be his favorite instrument to play on.

He sat down and placed the music on the piano, and touched a couple of keys just to get used to it again. It certainly had been a while since he last played it. But after having played Für Elize from Ludwig van Beethoven and a piece of Bad Luck's own music he was up for it.

And after fifteen minutes, he could die a happy man. Long way to Heaven, a song for him, and a slightly difficult piano piece to play. Honestly, he loved to have a bit of a challenge when playing his music. And it seemed that the person who wrote this, knew exactly where his weak points were. Challenging him to overcome them and play this gorgeous piece of music.

And while playing he had lost track of time. He had his eyes closed now and was playing the song completely out of his head. It was gorgeous, the way the music flowed through the room. But regretfully, he was the only one in the house thinking that way. Because only minutes later the door was thrown open and an angry Mika Seguchi stepped inside.

'I don't know what you're thinking, Suguru-kun. But I would kindly ask you to please stop playing this song. You've been at it the past hour and I'm getting quit sick of having to listen to the same song the entire time.' She said, glaring at Suguru who flushed a bit. A whole hour? He'd really been playing that long?

With his eyes closed he bowed his head and looked up to Mika through his bangs. 'I'm sorry, Mika-chan. I hadn't realized.'

* * *

He rolled his eyes and nodded, even though it couldn't be seen. Suddenly his eyes widened and he gasped, making Shuichi, Hiro and K notice something was wrong. And when he noticed their stares he flushed and waved his hands at them, whispering down his phone that: 'Tomiko-chan, please shut up!'

And the girl on the other side of the phone snickered and asked him why she would, making Suguru blush. 'Tomiko-chan, I'm at work.'

'So?'

'I can't just… well, you know.'

'Ah, Suguru-kun is shy!'

'I'm not shy! I just don't brag around about it.' He said, smiling nervously as his band members looked at him with raised brows. 'No, I've gotta work!' He said rather angrily as he heard Tomiko ask if he could come by. But the girl just kept asking, and asking and asking. 'Okay, during lunch. For one hour!'

'Okay, thanks so much, Suguru-kun! That little coffee shop down the road of NG?'

'Yeah, whatever.' He said and just at the moment he'd hung up his phone he felt the cold barrel of what he knew was a gun against the side of his head. He closed his eyes and grinned. 'Too late.' He said. 'I don't want to hear you calling your girlfriend anymore during practice.' K threatened and Suguru turned to him. 'She's not my girlfriend.'

'I don't care. As long as you don't call her again when you're supposed to be working.'

'Aw, K! Why don't you let him call her! It's interesting!' Shuichi said with a grin and Hiro shook his head, not even the bit amused. 'And why on Earth would that be an interesting thing, Shindou-kun?' K asked, raising a brow and pointing his gun at Shuichi instead of Suguru, making the latter sigh with relief. 'Because it's nice to know that Suguru actually has a personal life.' Shuichi said and Suguru rolled his eyes. No, he thought, not this again. 'You are a part of it, you dumb ass.' He said with a smirk towards Shuichi and the pink haired man's eyes grew three or four sizes, becoming watery, like those of a puppy. 'We are? Ah, Suguru-kun, how sweet of you to say that!' He said as he bounced onto Suguru, making the younger one loose his balance and fall onto the ground with Shuichi on top of him. 'Shindou-kun, get off!'

'Nah-uh, don't wanna.' He answered in a singsong voice and Suguru groaned softly at his irritating behavior. 'Shindou-kun!'

'Noo, I want to hear you say something.' Shuichi said with glowing eyes as he stared down at his band mate. 'Please!' Suguru said, voice coming susceptibly close to whining. 'He whines! You hear that Hiro, he whines!' Shuichi beamed as he turned to look at Hiro. The man in question was watching the whole situation with a grin on his face. When Suguru turned his head and looked at him, his eyes just screaming, "help" he decided to take pity on the young man.

'His name, Suguru-kun.' He said, smiling all the way. And for a moment Suguru raised a brow before realization dawned upon him. He smiled gratefully at Hiro and turned to face up to Shuichi. 'Please, Shuichi-kun.'

'He said it,' Shuichi exclaimed as he jumped up from Suguru's waist. 'He said it! He's grown up!' He said with a wide, kind of teasing, grin on his face. 'I think he's more grown up than you sometimes, Shuichi.' Hiro said with a grin and Shuichi just shook his head.

'You know, I don't think it's fair of you to be, uhm let's see... three minutes and twenty-nine seconds late.' Suguru deadpanned as Tomiko sat down in front of him. For a moment the girl scowled, saying: 'The bus was late.'

'No, you just forgot time while chatting on the phone with one of your lady friends.' Suguru said and suddenly Tomiko broke out in a grin. 'Yes, did you know that at the moment we're talking, Sakuma-san is having a secret lover! It was in a magazine that Maiko-chan read at university! Isn't it amazing how -'

'Tomiko-chan!' Suguru interrupted the girl and she brushed some black strands of hair out of her face, frowning at Suguru. 'Yes?'

'You almost forced me to come here. And I'm not going to discuss meaningless lies about Sakuma-san with you. I already told you, almost 80 of what media tells you about stars are lies, the other 20 are just based on mere small facts or witness confessions. Which may also have been lies. It's all rubbish anyway.' He said and huffed. 'You look up to him.'

'Who doesn't?' Suguru asked with a small smile. 'Hm, yes, you're right. Now there's a question that's worth musing over.'

With a small smile Suguru shook his head. This girl was into music way too much. 'Let's discuss something else.' She suddenly said, smiling charmingly at the waiter that came to their table to take their order. Suguru noticed that while ordering, she laid the stresses precisely on the right places. Spoke on the right tone and winked at the guy when he walked away. With that she earned herself his number in no time, Suguru knew and he sighed. 'Drama-queen.' Tomiko muttered with a grin towards him, while her eyes were still lingering on the waiter. 'He's got a girlfriend. You could see at the way he smiled nervously in the beginning.'

'And you know that because...'

'Secret.' She said with a grin and leaned her elbows onto the table as she looked at Suguru. 'Now, the declaration of love from that unknown person.' She said and Suguru blushed a bit. 'You've got the lyric with you?' She asked, expecting him to say no and tease him to death. But to her surprise, Suguru searched for the pocket of his pants and fished the lyric out with a small smile. 'You've got it good.' She remarked and Suguru frowned. 'What?'

'Oh, nothing.' She said, smiling as she folded the paper so she could see the lyric.

'Ah, that's so sweet!' She said as a few minutes later she laid the paper down next to her salad that had arrived a bit earlier. 'The person sure does love your eyes.' She remarked and Suguru nodded. He knew the lyric by heart by now. He'd read it so many times that even while playing his synthesizer he couldn't forget the words.

'You know, aren't you the least bit bothered by the fact that it could also be a man who send you this?' She asked, and raised a brow as she saw her friend blush and bend himself over his food a bit more. 'Secretly hoping it is a special someone? Suguru Fujisaki, what didn't you tell me?' She demanded but Suguru stiffly shook his head.

'It couldn't be Shindou-san,' Tomiko started musing to herself. She knew that it would be someone from NG, because she'd actually never heard of Suguru meeting someone else. 'Maybe Nakano-kun. That would be the perfect match! The silent withdrawal with the fierce guitar player.'

'Silent withdrawal sitting right here, thank you very much.' Suguru said with a scowl but Tomiko just waved her hand at him. 'Hush you. Anyway. He knows you very good, doesn't he? He knows what you like, how you play. Don't you think there's a possibility of it being him?'

'If he weren't straight. He's dated Ayaka-chan for at least two months a while ago.'

'O, now don't let that bother you. Don't you like him? It's written all over you.' She said, but Suguru never got the chance to answer because right then Shuichi and Hiro decided to walk inside.

**TBC.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Long Way to Heaven  
**Summary: **"So, Fujisaki-kun, I think I found a way to loosen you up. You need to find yourself a girlfriend." And one Hell of an emotion roller coaster that will be for poor Suguru. Only that it won't be a girl he'll be looking for...  
**Chapters: **3/3  
**Warnings: **Perhaps some cursing and a bit of shounen ai.  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gravitation or any of its characters. Only one in this story is mine.

_I'd like to thank everybody for being patiently until my next update.  
__I'd also like to thank everybody who read this,  
__And of course I thank my reviewers! You guys are the best._

_Well, now enjoy the last part of **Long Way to Heaven…**_

**Part 3**

With a wide grin Shuichi sat down next to Tomiko, turning his eyes to Suguru, to the girl and back to Suguru again. While Shuichi was being irritating curious - in Suguru's opinion - Hiro had sat down next to Suguru and was watching the whole thing with interest.

'She's your girlfriend?' Shuichi asked Suguru after a few seconds and Suguru sighed, feeling like dropping his head onto the table. 'No!' He said and Tomiko wrinkled her nose. 'If you weren't liking someone at the moment, I'd be highly offended by the speed you answered.' She said and Suguru died on the inside.

It were this kind of situations that made him wonder why he tried to like being around people. Most of all Tomiko. Because this wasn't the first time the girl had talked before thinking. And when Shuichi put his elbows down onto the table and leaned forward, Suguru knew he was in for it.

'No,' he groaned and buried his face in his hands. 'Shuichi, don't.' He heard Hiro say and was grateful for that. Although he did wonder why there was a bitter ring to the guitarists words. But right now he decided that that was the last thing he would wonder about.

But as Hiro had already predicted when he spoke up, Shuichi grinned impish as a warning before wailing. 'Who do you like, Suguru-kun? Who is it? Is it someone I know? Will you tell me... pleease!' And all the while when he spoke he leaned forward, over the table until his face was just a couple of inches away from Suguru's.

And for a moment Suguru scowled. But after that he slowly raised his right hand and with a smirk on his face pushed Shuichi's face away from his. 'Curiosity killed the cat, did you know?'

'It's never killed me.'

'And perhaps that's a thing subjected to change.' Suguru smirked as he saw the look of fear crossing over Shuichi's face. 'You don't mean that.'

'Says who?' Suguru snorted as he leaned back, folding his arms. But Shuichi stuck out his tongue at him with a smirk. 'Don't change the subject. Who do you like?'

'I won't tell.'

Back in the recording room Shuichi had sat down in a corner, mopping about the fact Suguru wouldn't tell him who he liked. Hiro meanwhile turned towards Suguru with an apologetic smile on his face. And Suguru wanted to smile back, though he didn't know why. _Don't you like him?_ He flushed as Tomiko's words shot through his head suddenly and Hiro raised a brow as suddenly Suguru turned around and walked back to his synthesizer with his head down.

But meanwhile Suguru's head was reeling. Why did he always seem nervous around Hiro lately? Why would he flush and embarrass himself? It was all a big question mark to him. But when he raised his eyes, feeling watched, and caught Hiro's gaze he felt an unfamiliar jump of his stomach. It felt for a moment like he was being shot up in a carnival-attraction called a "drop-shot". His stomach seemed to make a little flip-flop and he gasped, turning his head away from Hiro with a small blush staining his cheeks. No way. He thought. Because although he'd never felt this way. He had heard enough people talking about it. And it couldn't be that he actually was in love with Hiro. It couldn't be!

So with that problem solved –according to himself that is- Suguru turned his look to Shuichi, still sitting in a corner. He sighed and rolled his eyes, walking towards his band member. 'Shouldn't we get started again?' He asked, tapping Shuichi's shoulder. With a pout the other man turned around and pulled a puppy-dog-face on him. Suguru rolled his eyes and walked back to his synthesizer. 'That you openly tell the whole world your secrets.' He muttered as he straightened his papers out.

About two hours later –it was around half past five- Shuichi had left in a hurry and Suguru was left alone with Hiro. There hadn't been much work left to do, so K had just let him run, so that he himself also had a valid reason to leave. At least, that's what Suguru thought. Because their trigger-happy manager had left at the same time as Shuichi, chasing the young man he said, and hadn't come back since.

He sighed heavily as he raised his eyes a bit to stare at the sheet music of Bad Luck's next song. 'You okay, Suguru-kun?' Hiro asked and Suguru's head shot towards the guitarist. 'Yes, I'm fine.' He said, managing a small smile on his lips. But Hiro didn't seem very pleased with this answer because he frowned slightly before standing up and slowly walking towards Suguru. When he was in front of the synthesizer he stood still, placed both his hands on it and leaned forward, frown still on his face.

'How are things going with Seguchi-san?' He asked suddenly and Suguru paled, so much he was sure Hiro had noticed it. And he had, because Hiro lifted his right hand and laid it on Suguru's cheek, looking at it with softness in his eyes Suguru could not place. But before Suguru had any time wondering about it, Hiro had already lifted his eyes to gaze into his. 'Does he hurt you?'

'No!' Suguru almost yelled and Hiro was taken aback a little. He removed his hand and with a questioning gaze asked: 'than what? You seem to have closed yourself off of everybody. You're not concentrating fully. And don't come around with the nonsense that I'm mistaking, because I know I'm not.'

'Why do you care anyway? Things are fine. We just fight sometimes and that's all.' Suguru said, turning his head away to avoid Hiro's intense gaze. It wasn't because he felt pressured under it. It was more because it made him feel strangely dizzy in a way he hadn't felt before. And it confused him. And confusion had always been a thing Suguru Fujisaki avoided most. Because it could play with your mind and made you think things that weren't really true.

'So you fight. That possibly can't be the only reason why you dislike him so much. Come on Suguru! You stand on my doorstep so much lately I'm going to believe you're a stray cat. Can't you at least tell me what's wrong?'

'Hiroshi-kun,' Suguru started and lifted his eyes to stare at Hiro with an apologetic smile. 'Is it okay if I tell you later?' And Hiro sighed and he wove a hand through his hair. But after that a small smile appeared on his lips and he nodded. 'Yeah, but I do expect you to tell me sometime.' He said and Suguru nodded.

He had to guess, but he would say that it was around six o'clock now. He and Hiro were still in the recording room, but that didn't mean they had actually produced that much. Most of the time they had just been fooling around. Well, Hiro had been fooling around and Suguru had mainly been laughing his ass of. To be honest it had been a while since he'd last laughed as much as he had done today.

But for the moment Suguru had decided that perhaps he should practice a bit before going home. For a moment he wondered why Hiro hadn't gone home yet, but he decided that he just thought he hadn't anything better to do.

After ten minutes or so, Suguru was just totally undisturbed. When he was playing for a while, he always got so caught up in his music he didn't notice any other thing going on around him. And while he was busy playing on of the softer songs on Bad Luck's album, something disturbed his concentration badly.

It started out as the soft tune of Long way to Heaven that he thought was just bugging him in the back of his head. Because how lovely the song was, when he was focusing on Bad Luck it was kinda distracting. But slowly the tune got a bit louder, and when his mind registered the tune being hummed his concentration was broken and he made a few miss steps in the song.

He stopped playing all together and looked up with big eyes at Hiro, for he was humming the tone to himself softly. And his mouth almost fell open with astonishment as he stared at his band member. No way, he thought. It couldn't be Hiro, right?

'Uhh, Hiro?' He questioned softly, almost afraid, and Hiro stopped humming and looked up from the sheet music he was writing on. 'Yeah?' He asked and Suguru blushed slightly, softly asking: 'What song were you humming just now?'

But Hiro just frowned and said he wasn't humming anything. 'O,' was all Suguru could mutter after that. He blushed slightly and looked down again, wanting to play. But his concentration was completely gone and all he could think about now was the possibility of Hiro being the one that had send him the love song.

And not long after that he had packed his stuff and he was out of NG before Hiro was. He had no idea if he left the man smiling or with a big question mark above his head. But mainly, he couldn't care less.

* * *

Coming home he immediately went up to his room and dropped himself down onto the bed. He opened the drawer of his nightstand and got the lyrics out. He stared at it for a moment and after that grabbed for his phone. He dialled the number and waited for someone to pick up.

'I need your help!' He'd said it even before the girl got any chance of saying a proper hello. 'Well, hello to you too.' She said and he could hear the sarcasm in her voice. 'Tomiko-chan! Please say you'll help me.'

'Yes, of course. You know I will. Now what is it?' She asked, not even the bit annoyed by Suguru's demanding attitude. 'Did I let you hear the tune of Long Way to Heaven?'

'Nope, you didn't.'

'Well... I, today... ugh,' Suguru closed his eyes and sighed. 'I don't know what to think. Today at work, he... he was humming the tune of the song!' He blurted out, but Tomiko didn't understand a bit about it. 'Suguru-kun, who are you talking about?'

'Hiro! Hiroshi-kun, he must be the one that send me the letter! How else could he have known that tune?'

'Suguru-kun, calm down! It's not the end of the freakin' world.' Tomiko said and Suguru sighed dramatically. 'It's the end of mine.'

'Why?' Tomiko asked, suddenly surprisingly fierce. 'Why is it the end of your world that Hiroshi-kun is the one that send you that song? You like him, don't you?'

'I don't know, Tomiko!' Suguru said and closed his eyes. He did know that every time he was concentrating hard, a random thought about Hiro confused him. He also knew that he felt all warm an giddy inside whenever Hiro touched or came near to him. What he didn't know was what to think of it exactly.

'How can you not know!' Tomiko shrieked. 'If you like someone, how can you not know?'

'I don't know if I like him, that's what I mean.' Suguru whispered softly and closed his eyes again. He knew he liked Hiro. But to also admit it. That was hard for him. 'You don't know if you like him...' Tomiko said and Suguru could just see her weaving a hand through her hair. 'Okay, let's see. Feel butterflies in your stomach when he talks to you? You think about him a lot? You hope that lyrics is his, right?'

'Yees,' Suguru moaned and he could just feel Tomiko grin on the other side of the phone. 'But you already knew that you liked him, didn't you?' Tomiko asked and Suguru sighed with a 'hmph'.

'You're such a boy, Suguru.'

'And what's that supposed to mean?'

'Ha,' Tomiko laughed, 'first of all having quite the difficulties of actually admitting to like someone.' And Suguru rolled his eyes. 'And secondly, taking the step towards the right direction to start an actual relationship with the person you like.'

Silence after that. Suguru frowned slightly as he dropped the lyrics onto his nightstand. 'He send me the lyric. He's supposed to say it himself even though I figured it out.'

'You think as an old-fashioned girl, Suguru-kun! Stop with it.' Tomiko whined.

Suguru rolled his eyes. How could a girl, that was as sappy and romantic as the movie the Titanic itself, tell him he shouldn't think as he wanted? He knew that many girls had the image of how to confess their "I love you's" in their mind already. He knew they wanted it to be perfect, romantic and just the way they had always imagined it. He rolled his eyes. It was stupid, because things never worked out that way.

If life were supposed to be perfect it would be boring. But even though it was silly, a thing that would never happen, who could deny him the right to think like that at least a bit? And if it was his shyness, his insecurity or just his little way of hoping things would go perfect that stopped him from walking up to Hiro and saying: "I know you wrote the lyrics, wanna make out", he didn't know. But he did know that he wanted Hiro, or whoever wrote the lyrics, to come up to him and confess it themselves.

'Suguru-kun? You still alive out there?' Tomiko asked and Suguru was roughly shaken from his pondering. 'Of course I am.' He answered and frowned as suddenly someone knocked on his door. 'What?'

'Suguru-kun, dinner is ready. Are you coming?' The voice of his cousin sounded through the door and Suguru sighed. 'Yeah, just wait a couple of minutes.' He yelled back and on the other end of the phone he heard Tomiko giggle. 'Hope for you you'll survive.'

'Thanks. It'll be easy, I'm sure of it. The day that he can actually kill me is the day… well, the day that I die.'

'Haha, not funny.' Tomiko deadpanned and Suguru laughed. 'Whatever. Speak you later tonight. Bye.'

'Yeah, bye. Say hello to your cousin from me, will you.'

* * *

'Tomiko-chan says hi to you.' Suguru said as he gave a small nod towards Tohma. He picked up his glass and took a small sip, gazing at Tohma and seeing the man was looking at him with a raised brow. 'That's the second time I hear you call that girls name. Do you by any means have a girlfriend, Suguru-kun?' He asked, a little bit of laughter playing in his eyes.

With a smirk on his lips Suguru shook his head. 'No, she's just a friend.' He said and Mika now also turned towards him. 'If she's just a friend, then who's the one that made you float on clouds the past few days?' She asked and Suguru almost choked on his water and a blush appeared on his cheeks. In a soft whisper he asked: 'You noticed?' And Mika nodded with a smile. 'So, who is the lucky girl?'

'Ugh, no-one.' Suguru said as he turned his head away. He heard Mika let out a laugh and Tohma didn't make a sound but he knew he was smiling. 'It doesn't really matter who it is. It will be good for you, I'm sure of it. I'm also sure that you'll be able to concentrate better now.' He said and Suguru frowned slightly. He wanted to come back with a mean comment but decided that today it was perhaps better to keep his cousin in the good mood he was in now. So he just cocked his head to the left a bit and gave a small smile. And he went back to dinner in the hopes it was over with this.

But it wasn't. He knew that the moment that Tohma shot him another look and said: 'I certainly hope Bad Luck's new album is a good one.'

'Why?' Suguru asked as he lay his cutlery down. 'Today we released the first single on our new album. It's a great success. I hope for Bad Luck they will be able to work up to that.'

'I think we will. Our new album sounds very good, thus my opinion.' Suguru said, managing a small smile on his lips. Perhaps the man didn't know, but he was annoying Suguru more and more. And he was turning angry bit by bit. He was sick of being treated like a child that didn't know what he was talking about. He was an artist just the same as Tohma was and he knew well enough where he was talking about.

'Yes, it is good. But from what I've heard it probably won't reach Nittle Grapsers standards.'

'And why won't it?' Suguru asked, frowning slightly. He had the feeling that today it came down to it again. To Suguru's endurance. Because again Tohma was treating him as a child again. As the little kid he used to play with when he was younger.

'Well, of course the success of Bad Luck is mostly the voice of Shindou-san -'

'What?' Suguru objected but was silenced as Tohma raised his hand and continued as if Suguru had said nothing. 'But it seems that your mood of the past few weeks has effected him. And of course it has also effected your own play. Because that is an almost painful noticeable fact for me. Because I'm so used to hearing you play and now it's as if I don't recognize you anymore. What's wrong, Suguru-kun? I've been wondering for a long while now but at this moment, I demand an clear answer from you.'

And Suguru felt a slight PANG in his heart. Not because the one he was madly in love with turned him down. No. It was more because at that moment all of the images he had of his cousin were shattered. The man he had always looked up to just told him he wasn't achieving enough although he himself was the reason for that. And Suguru blew up. For a moment he closed his eyes but when he opened them again, he was ready to kill.

'It's because of you actually.' He said, voice frighteningly calm for the situation. 'I'm sick of you and your attitude. I think it's time to see the truth now, Toh-chan.' He said, laying a sarcastic tone on his cousins name. 'You have to realize I'm eighteen now. I'm not a kid anymore and I'm sick of being treated as one! You never take me as I am. For almost all my life I've tried to work myself up to you, your status and to Nittle Grasper. But I never get to hear a compliment from you! You always push me harder and harder and all the while you treat me like I'm still ten years old!'

For a moment he paused and there Tohma took his chance and while standing up and glaring at Suguru started his own sermon. 'Suguru-kun. I never realized that. I only want the best for you, you do know that.'

'No, I don't! You've got a weird way of showing those things anyway, Tohma. And the fact that you didn't realize it also doesn't shock me, actually.' Suguru now yelled as he pushed his glass of the table. He clenched his fists and glared at his cousin. 'You only live in your own isolated world. You never care for others and you just don't want to see what bothers others! For once it would be nice to be your cousin instead of just a fucking employee. For once it would be nice! And I've always tried to work up to you, Tohma. But now I realize I don't want that! Yes, I want to be better. But not like you, never like you! I don't want to be blind to others, to the people that care about me. You just don't give a damn about anybody but yourself and your music! You never turn around to say someone did well. I'm sick of it, I'm so sick of you telling me what to do! I'm old enough to do that myself, don't you realize? I'm not ten years old anymore!' He yelled, and all the while Tohma and Mika just stared at him.

But Suguru didn't wait for one of them to say something back. Because before they even got the chance, Suguru had bolted already. He had run out of the door and was fleeing to a place he was sure he was wanted. Where someone would care and not fake everything that was said to him.

* * *

If things ever became more miserable than they were at this moment, he decided then and there he would certainly end his life. And as in movies -how cliché it was- it rained. Of course, he thought angrily as yet again a sopping sound came from his shoes.

He had no coherent thought coming to his mind at this very moment, so it was hard for him to grasp what he had done. Where he should go. But he did know that his instincts -his emotions- told him to go see how Hiro was. And for once, he decided, he felt completely comfortable with his feelings. And perhaps for the few times in his life, he now also acted on his feelings.

He turned and with a sigh he started to walk towards Hiro's house. It was at least a ten-minute walk. He would be sick within a week. As if having just fought with Tohma wasn't enough, he thought.

If Hiro had expected a happy face when he opened the door, he would be disappointed greatly. Because Suguru had an ugly scowl plastered onto his face when the door opened. 'I assume I can make up the couch for a night-visitor?' He asked, a slight smile on his lips. 'Why do you ask?' Suguru said, but Hiro only smiled. 'Ass,' he growled as he stepped inside. He knew he didn't need a straight answer from Hiro. He knew he was welcome to stay.

But when he walked past Hiro a hand on his shoulder stopped. It wasn't forcing. It just rest there, comfortably and full of unspoken words. Not the words from the lyrics. No, words of friendship, trust and softly whispered love that couldn't be exposed. 'If Seguchi-san bothers you this much,' he started but paused for a moment. In that time Suguru turned his head and looked at Hiro. He had a tight frown on his face and Suguru knew he was worried.

'If he bothers you this much, you know you can stay here... right?' He asked, a little uncertain about his own words. But in that moment Suguru's expression softened and he looked at Hiro with a small smile. 'I know. Thank you.' He said and walked further as Hiro dropped his hands off of his shoulder. He shivered as he tried pulling off his jacket.

'You take a shower and I'll get you some warm clothes, okay? You're pretty soaked.' He said, and pushed Suguru into the direction of the bathroom.

'Ugh, thanks.' Suguru said with a small grimace as he studied the long sleeves of the sweater he had borrowed from Hiro. Hiro laughed as he watched Suguru struggle for a moment with the sweater. The sleeves were too long. The bottom of it way too long and the neck of the thing fitted on one shoulder. Because on the left side it draped over his shoulder, showing pale skin and slim collar bone. And it didn't occur to Suguru that he looked totally innocent and had a different effect on Hiro than he thought.

'You know, if you roll up the sleeves, they might fit at least a bit.' He said and smiled as Suguru did just that. But when Suguru tried walking again, another problem arose. Because when he had set just one step, he tripped over the pipes of Hiro's pants. He got himself not to fall by stumbling a bit, but it did make Hiro break out in a dent of laughing. Suguru scowled for a moment, but the laughter in his eyes ruined that. And while Hiro just kept laughing Suguru pulled up the pipes of the pants and walked –a bit uneasily- towards the couch and plumped down onto the couch.

'Stop laughing at me!' He said as he gave Hiro a small push. With a smirk Hiro took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself down a bit. 'Sorry,' he managed and Suguru frowned. 'Yeah, whatever.' He said and Hiro leaned back against the back of the couch. 'You hungry?' He asked and Suguru nodded. 'Yeah, I stormed out before I got the chance to get some decent food.'

'You stormed out?' Hiro asked, trying to keep the astonishment out of his voice but failing miserably. 'Yes,'

'On Seguchi-san?'

'Yes, on him yeah. And it's stupid, I know. But I was just so mad... and what could I do? I mean, I had yelled at him so hard for so many things I just had to leave!' He said with a sulky face. But the words did spike Hiro's interest and he turned his body so that he was facing Suguru completely. But Suguru didn't really notice, because he was sitting with his eyes closed as if afraid of being hit. Well, it wasn't that, Hiro decided. It was more like realizing what he'd done. 'I shouldn't have done that.' Suguru breathed, his voice hoarse. 'He's going to kick me out of Bad Luck, for sure.' Suguru panicked but Hiro lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. 'K won't stand for that.'

'Then he'll kick me out of the apartment. He's paying for it.'

'You can stay with me. Don't worry, things will be fine.' Hiro said but Suguru shook his head. 'No, not after what I yelled.'

'Well, what did you yell then?' Hiro asked with a serious gaze. 'I... – ugly things.' He said, turning his eyes away from Hiro's to the ground and fidgeting with his fingers in his lap. 'Suguru-kun, don't lock me out.' Hiro asked, a little pleading sounding in his voice. And when Suguru didn't answer and just closed his eyes Hiro lifted the young man's chin with two of his fingers. And when Suguru finally opened his eyes –very carefully- he could see an encouraging smile on his friend's face. 'Not now. I think it's time you tell someone something to get rid of the problem. Don't you think that too, Suguru-kun?'

But Suguru just looked at him with a grim expression, although doubt was shining in his eyes. 'Perhaps.' He spoke softly. He was getting a bit nervous by now. Were it the two fingers on his chin or the fact he just didn't want to share everything with Hiro, he didn't know. But he did know he didn't like it very much. Please God, he thought, let him just stop asking.

And he didn't know why he didn't want to tell Hiro. All he wanted right now was to curl op on the couch and eat. But this was Hiro's house, he thought and sighed. He probably wasn't getting any food until he told.

'Perhaps? Was it that bad or do you just have a low self-esteem, Suguru-kun?' Hiro asked and Suguru's eyes widened a bit. Not so gently now, a small voice spoke in the back of his head. Must be loosing his patience. But he couldn't really blame him. Hiro had been his friend for so long. What would I think? Suguru suddenly asked himself. What would I think if a friend of mine was sad and wouldn't tell me what was wrong?

And suddenly Suguru smiled sadly. He would feel abandoned. As if he wasn't trusted enough to know. He sighed and finally cracked. Everything piled up in the words he spoke to explain what had happened. His anger at Tohma, his anger at himself, the frustration of the band. He told Hiro everything that he himself had been denying for so long.

'Suguru-kun?' Hiro asked, after Suguru had told everything that happened between him and his cousin. Tears were brimming on the edge of his eyes, his head was bowed and his cheeks were a bit red in embarrassment. 'Do you think that we treat you like that too?'

'N-no...' he started, but paused for a moment. He looked up through his bangs and smiled shyly. 'Sometimes... Shuichi does it most, though. And from you... I don't mind that much.' He said and saw a smile coming to Hiro's lips. The redhead raised his hand and touched Suguru's cheek lightly. But only a moment after Suguru's brain figured out what was going on, the hand had already been removed.

And the only reason as to why he had to believe it actually happened was the slight blush on Hiro's cheeks and the almost burning tinkling feeling on his cheek. 'Thank you,' he whispered at Suguru, an honest smile on his lips. 'So, do you want a pizza now?'

* * *

It was now an hour, half a pizza and half a movie later and Suguru was feeling quite comfortable all snuggled up on the couch. He had his feet folded under his thighs and rested his head onto one of the big cushions of the couch. His breathing was steady and he probably didn't know it, but his soft breathing gently whispered across Hiro's shoulder, making the young man shudder once in a while.

All with all the evening was going rather gradually. With the occasional touch, blush and apology included. But Suguru didn't mind. He actually liked the somewhat shy touches that could be done by mistake, but were actually just meant that way.

'Do you want another drink?' Hiro asked as he sat up a bit to turn his head to his green-haired friend. Suguru shook his head and continued watching the movie. 'No.' He said very softly. Hiro smiled a bit, leaned back against the couch and also watched the TV-screen again.

But five minutes later Suguru sat up completely and watched the TV with a frown, wondering out loud: 'you think that girl dies? If she doesn't within five minutes of time I have to say this is one of the worst movies ever.'

Hiro let out a laugh and good-heartily placed his hand on Suguru's shoulder. 'It'll be fine.' He said in a played voice, while patting Suguru's back. 'Hmph,' Suguru crossed his arms and pouted. 'You poor baby.' Hiro said, winking as Suguru scowled at him. With a wide smile Hiro stuck out his tongue at the other and Suguru pushed him in the shoulder. But he couldn't back away, because Hiro had grabbed his wrists, pulling Suguru towards him. Suguru shrieked softly as he was being pulled forwards toward Hiro. He struggled a bit to get his wrists free, but to no avail. With a soft thump he fell down onto Hiro's chest. Started his eyes grew wide and a huge blush came onto his cheeks.

'H-Hiro!' He stuttered out as he tried to scramble off of Hiro's chest. But Hiro just threw him a lazy grin, not letting him go. 'What?'

'H-Hiro… let me go.' Suguru pleaded softly, bending his head forwards – burring his nose in Hiro's chest in the progress – so the other man couldn't see the blush staining his cheeks. 'Hmm…. No.' Hiro said, laughing as Suguru tried to push his hand away as he playfully ruffled the younger ones hair.

'Hiroo!' Suguru suddenly whined. He really wanted to be released. He was feeling so comfortable right now it was beginning to be downright uncomfortable, if that was even possible. The warm tinkling that had started in the pit of his stomach the moment Hiro touched him had now spread over his whole body and he had to suppress a shudder. He wanted to close his eyes and lay his head down, because Gods did he want to stay here, feeling like this, for the rest of his life.

'What? Something wrong?' Hiro asked with a bit of an impish grin on his face. 'Y-yes!' Suguru stuttered out and tried to manage a scowl on his face, but failed. Meanwhile Hiro rolled his eyes and let go of Suguru's wrists, but the younger one didn't notice. He just kept squirming around, keeping his head down as much as possible. Hiro just wanted to speak up again but before he got the chance to do so, Suguru sighed and laid still. Hiro smiled and laid a hand on his head and saw Suguru glare up to him through his bangs. 'You know, I let you go already.'

'Wha -' Suguru started and sat up immediately scrambling to the other side of the couch. 'You're cute when you blush.' Hiro said with a grin.

But suddenly they heard a horrified scream coming from the television. With a wrench Suguru turned back to the TV. A grin broke out on his face and he clenched his fist. 'Yes,' he said loudly and turned to Hiro. 'The witch is dead.' He said and with a roll of his eyes Hiro answered: 'Ding-Dong.' 1 But the words came out dryly and Hiro didn't smile. For a moment Suguru wondered if something was wrong with Hiro. Had he said something wrong, he wondered. But he didn't give it anymore thought and he turned back to the TV.

Twenty minutes later the movie-credits started rolling down the screen and Suguru yawned. He shot a look towards the clock. 1 O'clock. He yawned again and shot a sideward glance towards Hiro. He was looking towards the screen with a somewhat disappointed expression on his face. 'Didn't like the ending?' Suguru asked and Hiro turned to him. 'Uh? O... no. I don't like open endings.' He said and grinned. Suguru just smiled and nodded.

'I'm off to bed, okay?' He said and Hiro nodded. 'Yeah, okay. I'll clean up here and then I'm going to sleep too. Sweet dreams.'

'Yeah, sweet dreams Hiro.' Suguru said and walked out of the room.

But suddenly, when he opened the door to the bedroom he was sleeping in, everything changed. 'I love you,' Hiro whispered, from the living room. Suguru stood dead in his tracks, feet nailed to the ground and a blush forming on his face. He hadn't heard that right, had he? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to have, no one else was around to have said it. But the words were so soft. Suguru was sure he wasn't meant to have heard them.

With his legs a little shaky, Suguru closed his door and sat down onto his bed. He sat there, staring at the wall. Before, he almost knew for sure that it was Hiro who had sent him that lyric. Which also meant it was Hiro who liked, perhaps even loved, him. But to hear the words, instead of just having to think them.

To say the least, it came as quit the shock to the young man that until now never had somebody – besides family – tell him they liked him. And when he finally realized what exactly Hiro had said, a huge grin broke out on his face. With his hands covering his mouth and eyes shining he let himself drop back onto the bed. He felt happy that now he knew for sure that Hiro loved him.

Tomorrow. He thought. Tomorrow I'll tell him. But the question was, would he have the same confidence and guts as he did now in the morning?

* * *

He felt a bit giddy the moment he woke up. He had to rub his eyes to know where he was again. And it took him two times of blinking to remember why he felt so giddy. A sort of a silly grin appeared on his face as he remembered Hiro's words. "I love you."

At this moment he wanted nothing more than to walk up to Hiro and tell him with a big grin on his face he loved him too. But of course things never were that easy. His grin lessened a bit as he heard the soft tunes of Hiro's guitar from the living room. He had heard the man tell before that he loved to play in the morning, to wake him up a bit more. But now he'd rather have it that Hiro had slept in today. So that he could at least prepare a bit.

With a sigh he heaved himself out of his bed and shot a look at the two pairs of clothing in the room. Hiro must've brought his clothing to the room this morning. Or maybe yesterday night, he wouldn't know.

He wondered for a moment which one he would wear today. With a shake of his head he decided he would just go with Hiro's clothes. Even though they were too big, they were more comfortable than his own. Which he didn't understand. He'd never been a person to wear a bit of... well, baggy clothes. Because for Hiro they were a perfect fit. For Suguru they were baggy. And he liked it.

When he had put the clothes on he shot a look to take himself up in the mirror that hung in the room. He combed his hair a bit with his fingers and after that nervously walked to the door.

When he opened the door, softly at that, he took a small look around the corner to see Hiro sitting on the small couch under the window. One foot folded under his other leg and his left foot resting on the ground. He took a deep breath and closed the door behind him, walking towards Hiro.

'Hey, good morning.' He said and Hiro looked up after a moment. A grin appeared on his face as he answered: 'hey there. Slept well?'

'Yes, actually I did.' Suguru said as he walked towards the couch Hiro sat on. 'Thanks for the clothes.' He said, as he sat down a decent amount of space from Hiro. 'You're welcome.' Hiro laughed as he looked at Suguru. 'But you didn't wear your own.'

'No, yours are nicer.' He said and Hiro nodded. Without any further words Hiro turned back to his guitar and started playing again.

For five minutes Suguru sat in silence, chewing his bottom lip softly. With a sigh he turned to Hiro and without thinking blurted out: 'I heard you yesterday.'

'Heard what?' Hiro asked as he raised a brow and turned to Suguru. Suguru swallowed and turned his head as he said: 'You love me.'

'Oh,' he heard Hiro mutter. He didn't dare to turn his head towards the other man to see what kind of expression he had on his face. For a moment he wondered what he had done. Had he ruined things now? And even though it was obvious the lyric came from Hiro, and with the words he from last night he certainly had heard right. He still felt scared as if he had made one big mistake. 'I wouldn't have thought you heard.' Hiro said on a soft voice and Suguru sighed. He hoped the other man didn't expect him to say something first. Because he certainly was at a loss of words now.

'But you know, since you did hear, I meant it.' Hiro said and now Suguru turned his head, just a bit. Hiro was looking at him, a bit of a nervous expression on his face. And even though it felt that Suguru's words stuck in his throat, he felt a wave of relief flood over him. He felt like floating and was sure he would never land again. He closed his eyes, a small smile appearing on his lips. He could drown in this moment.

'Suguru?' Hiro suddenly questioned. Fear was now clearly to be heard in his voice. Fear of being rejected. But Suguru now fully turned to him and spoke with a small smile on his lips. 'I think that, at first, I was too busy with my work.' He said, and drew his right hand through his hair. 'And then I just didn't know what to think. You were just a band-member, at first. And then my friend. And then I got that lyric. And I felt that, even though I didn't know who it was, I could keep on floating on a cloud forever. So Shuichi was right.' He said and gave a laugh. It almost sounded alien to his ears. Shuichi was right.

'And then we were such good friends. And you hummed the tune of the song, and I was so confused. I didn't know what to think. And you were so nice and I felt like floating. I guess it just took me quite some time to realize that all that time I was just feeling... love.' He said, and looked down with a blush. There, the high word was out.

And he didn't know why he was still nervous. Hiro loved him, he knew. He loved Hiro, Hiro knew. What was there to be nervous about? Perhaps it comes with every first time... he thought. Yeah, he decided, that was it.

But suddenly Hiro laughed, and Suguru's head shot up. 'You could've just said I love you too, ya know?' He said and Suguru smiled in relief as he saw the look of pure happiness on his friends, wait, lovers face. Nerves. Hiro was nervous, just as him. 'Yeah, perhaps that would've been easier.' Suguru said with a soft sigh. He tensed a bit when he felt a hand stroke his hair and when he looked at Hiro the other man was close. He had laid his guitar down and was now sitting next to Suguru. One hand stroking Suguru's hair while he laid the other down on Suguru's knee.

'I'm going to kiss you now, okay?' He asked and Suguru blushed. It would be his first kiss. 'Yeah,' he whispered softly and closed his eyes. He didn't know what to do. But people always closed their eyes when they kissed so…

Only moments later Hiro's lips touched his own. At first it was just like a whisper, touching but just barely. Suguru felt a flutter in the pit of his stomach and a pleasant warmth started to spread over his body as Hiro pressed a bit closer. Slowly lips moved against lips and he felt lost in a world of pure bliss. Without him even realizing it his hands found their way around Hiro's neck. Hiro's left arm was now laid loosely around his waist. Suguru tensed for a moment as he felt Hiro's tongue on his lips. But soon he relaxed again and opened his mouth. Things went easy and nothing in his whole life had felt as natural and right as this. Their tongues touched, but it wasn't a battle. It was soft, slow. A world that existed out of bliss, fireworks and nothing but the two of them.

He felt Hiro draw back, and as he gasped softly he opened his eyes slowly. 'Hiro...' he whispered softly as he other man touched his cheek. He leaned in the touch, closing his eyes again. 'Fantastic. A fantastic first kiss...' he mused softly and was sure this is what a cat must feel when petted.

'First kiss hmm?' Hiro asked and Suguru blushed. 'Y-yes, I -'

'Thank you.' Hiro interrupted and Suguru smiled. You're welcome, he wanted to say. But he thought it was just better to stay silent. With a sigh he leaned into Hiro's touch and smiled. Things were just perfect.

* * *

Of course, Hiro and Suguru were late for work. The black barrel of a gun and Hiro gulped and Suguru laughed greeted them. He was in such a good mood today. He was sure nothing could ruin it! 'Hiroo! You told him!' Shuichi said as he bounced towards us.

'Why say that?' Hiro asked, a playful expression in his eyes. 'Otherwise Suguru-kun would've been on time!' Shuichi said, proud of himself he had found it out. 'So, have you told him about the song?' Shuichi asked and Hiro's eyes grew bigger. 'Forgot.'

'I don't care! Get to work, all three of you!' K suddenly yelled and they all went to their instruments. Microphone for Shuichi. But before they started playing Suguru turned to Hiro and said on a hushed voice: 'I loved it.' And Hiro grinned.

'He loves me!' He said through the phone with a slight blush on his face. 'He kissed me!'

'And you feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.' Tomiko deadpanned and Suguru rolled his eyes. 'No, I'm in love.' He said and he heard Tomiko laugh. 'That's what I wanted to hear.' There was a small pause on the phone before the girl continued. 'You've changed fast.'

'Yeah,' Suguru said. 'But that's good, right?'

'Yeah! That's what we were going for in the first place. Although Hiro isn't a girlfriend, I think he's even better for you!'

'Why that so?' He asked, a frown forming on his face. 'Hm, my guess? You're gay.' Tomiko laughed and knew that if she was sitting in front of Suguru he would have put his tongue out at her. 'I don't mind.' He answered and Tomiko giggled. 'With Hiro by your side I'd doubt you would.'

'Ha-ha, just shut up.' Suguru scowled for a moment but then smirked. 'You know what.'

'No, please enlighten me to your moment of brightness.' Tomiko deadpanned, but Suguru's smirk just grew wider. 'I'm going to find you a boyfriend.'

'Whoa there sturdy-one. Got it a bit too big in your head now you've got a boyfriend? I don't need a boyfriend!' Tomiko shrieked and Suguru laughed. 'Yeah you do.'

'Okay, first you won't succeed at setting me up. With anybody! And second of all... why the heck are you even thinking of setting me up?'

'To get you to talk less. You know, shut up once in a while.' Suguru said and laughed as he could almost see Tomiko's scowl. 'You don't like me talking?' She asked and Suguru rolled his eyes. 'No, I love you talking. But you do it much, lots of it! I'm thinking of lessening it a bit and immediately putting down your ideas of meddling with my personal life.'

'But Suguru-kun! I am a part of your personal life!' Tomiko protested. 'But that doesn't mean you have to meddle with it. I certainly appreciate your talks with me about Hiro-kun, but I don't want to be adopting a child from China or something due to one of your ideas.'

'Adopting a Chinese kid? How cute Suguru-kun! You should do that.'

'Tomiko-chan! Shut up. You get my point.' He said and he could hear Tomiko sigh. 'Yeah, yeah. I get it. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.'

'Good girl.' Suguru said with a smile. He looked up as he heard the scrapings of the legs of a chair and smiled as Shuichi sat down. 'How does Hiro-kun kiss?' Suguru blushed and his eyes grew wide. 'None of your business.'

'C'mon, Suguru-kuun!' Shuichi whined but Suguru shook his head. 'I'm on the phone.' He said and turned his head to the window, resuming his conversation with Tomiko. 'Sorry, Shuichi is being irritating.'

'It's okay. I've gotta go now anyway.'

'Okay,' Suguru said, looking up for a moment. From the corner of his eyes he saw Hiro enter the room and he smiled. 'I'll call you later, okay?' Tomiko asked and Suguru nodded, as if Tomiko could see it. 'Nodding your head?'

'Oh, yeah. Yes, that's okay. Bye.'

'Yup, bye.'

Hiro sat down next to Suguru and smiled at him. 'Your friend?'

'Yeah, I had to tell her something.' Suguru said with a small blush on his cheeks. 'Of course. Although all of your gossiping and telling Tomiko does make me wonder if you aren't actually a girl.' Hiro said with a grin, which earned him a glare. 'We weren't gossiping.'

'No, just telling her the good news, ne?' Shuichi asked, eyes sparkling as he saw Hiro grin and Suguru blush. 'What good news?'

All three heads shot up at the sudden voice. Because at their table was now standing Tohma Seguchi with a questioning look on his face. At first he was looking at Shuichi, since he was the one that made the comment. But when Shuichi just grinned one of his biggest grins and shot a look towards Suguru and Hiro Tohma also looked at them. Suguru blushed a bit and ducked his head while Hiro grinned and patted his hand.

'We're dating.' Hiro said simply and he could just imagine Suguru's red cheeks and happy grin. 'Although Shuichi brings it as if we're going to get married.' He said with a look towards Shuichi. For a moment Tohma frowned, but than he smiled. 'Well, congratulations than. Lets all hope it will last.' He said and immediately Suguru looked up at him with a glare. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'Nothing, trust me. Just that I wish you both all the happiness in the world.' Tohma answered with a smile before he turned and walked away with a grace that fitted him perfectly. 'Yeah, right.' Suguru snorted but looked up at Shuichi as he heard the other laugh. 'What?'

'Nothing. Just that you can't believe your cousin is actually happy for you, can you?' He asked and Suguru was a bit taken aback. He wondered what Shuichi meant. Tohma's comment was made as a bad one, right? He thought.

But now he wasn't so sure anymore, actually. It was all a bit strange. Tohma acted as if Suguru never walked out of the house yesterday. It couldn't be he just didn't care, right?

'Suguru-kun, did you even hear me?' His head shot up at the sound of Shuichi whining. 'What?'

'You didn't.' He said, expression a little disappointed. Suguru thought it was a typical Shuichi-thing to do. To be disappointed over such a small and silly thing. 'Shuichi, don't put the pout on him. He didn't even hear you.' Hiro suddenly said with a laugh. Suguru looked at Hiro with a small frown. 'What did he say? Come on, tell me.'

'Na-ha, you just had to listen to me if you want to know.' Shuichi said with a grin. Suguru scowled at him but Shuichi just stuck out his tongue at him. 'C'mon, tell me Shuichi-kun.'

'Whine for it!' Shuichi said. With a small pout on his face he turned to Hiro and laid his head on Hiro's shoulder. 'Do you want to tell me, then?'

'No.'

'Why not?'

'You only talk to me when you need something. I think it's unfair.' He said with a small smile at Suguru who just threw him a nasty look. 'I just wanted to know. It was about my cousin, you know.' Suguru said as he turned his head away to stare out of the window.

Things weren't going his way this time it seemed. Not that things usually went his way, but this one was just a bit more frustrating. When he was young he had been so close with his cousin. And it seemed that now that close bound was disappearing slowly. And what perhaps hurt most of it all, was that almost everybody seemed to think it was his fault.

And perhaps, when he thought real hard, he could come up with things he shouldn't have done. But it just couldn't be that all of this was all his fault. It wasn't all to blame on Tohma either, but he surely had his part in things. His bossing around and always being curious about what was going on with Suguru was highly irritating. He wasn't a small kid anymore that needed to be looked after.

He wondered now what he could do about it. He seriously regretted walking out on Tohma and Mika the other day. He could talk to Tohma about it. But that idea seemed so alien to him. To explain to his cousin he felt treated like a kid all the time. It was just hard to imagine for him to talk with his cousin about that.

'Suguru-kun?' A bit hasty Suguru turned his head to look at Hiro. He also noticed Shuichi was gone and wondered if he had been in thoughts that deep. 'Yeah?' He was a bit confused at the whole situation. A bit confused with everything that was going on right now. Everything and everybody around him seemed to change so fast, while he was only beginning to catch up. Perhaps now, with Shuichi as his friend and Hiro by his side, it was time to try the long run. To patch things up and put a bandage on all things wrong to stop the bleeding. Perhaps he should apologize to Tohma and explain things. If only he knew how.

Suddenly he heard Hiro chuckle and noted with an embarrassed blush he had been lost in thought again. with a humoured look still playing on his face Hiro leaned forward and gave Suguru a peck on his cheek. 'Let's go for a walk.' He whispered softly and Suguru smiled. 'Yeah, let's.'

* * *

As they were walking through the park, Hiro holding Suguru's hand and Suguru pressed close to his boyfriend, Suguru wondered: 'Won't K-san mind?' He blushed as he heard Hiro laugh at his question and he looked up at him. 'K-san will have to bear with us for today. You need me more right now and we're ahead of schedule anyway.' Hiro answered with a grin to Suguru. Suguru frowned and turned his gaze towards the path again. 'I need you, huh? Why is that?'

'Because I thought it was best that you talk to someone that listens and will care and understand.' Hiro said as he softly pulled Suguru towards a bench. He sat down, pulling Suguru with him, and laid an arm around Suguru's shoulders. Suguru sighed and laid his head on Hiro's shoulder. There was almost no one at the park this time of the day, so they were free to show their affection right now. But of course, that wasn't the reason why they had sat down, of course.

And Suguru had to admit he could guess a little what Hiro wanted to talk about. Although he wouldn't admit it. He wanted to get his problems solved, yes. But talking about them was a thing that he had never been good at. 'Suguru-kun?' With a sideward glance Suguru looked up at Hiro. 'Something is worrying you.'

'How do you know?' Suguru asked with a small smile. He wasn't avoiding the question, and Hiro knew it too. He was just a bit curious how Hiro could read him so well. People knew when he was bothered with something, but that was most of the time anyway. To see he was worried, well, Suguru thought it a good thing Hiro could see it. It meant he really cared, in his opinion at least.

'You talk even less than normal, your eyes look a bit sad.' Hiro said as he lightly stroked Suguru's cheek. 'I just notice those little things about you. But now, come on. Don't stray from the point. It is Seguchi-san, isn't it?'

'Yes,' Suguru whispered softly. 'I really don't know what to do.' He continued. He really didn't know what to say, or how to speak, about things like this. He needed to be pushed into right direction. He needed a question he could answer. But luckily for him, Hiro had noticed that too. 'Because you're fighting?'

'Yeah, he's probably pretty mad at me. I walked out during dinner. With Tohma things like that are never good.'

'You should talk to him.' Hiro simply said and Suguru frowned. 'And say what? "Hey Toh-chan, it's been a while. I've been mad at you because you treat me like a kid."' He said, pausing for a moment to snort. 'Yeah, right. He'll certainly see that one coming.'

'Well, it is the reason you're frustrated with him, right? Why should it be childish or stupid if it's how you feel?' Hiro asked and Suguru sighed softly. 'It is childish of me to think like that, huh?' Suguru asked. Not really at Hiro, but more in a way of thinking out loud. 'I know I should talk to him. I'm just afraid that when I'm in front of him all the things I want to say won't come out of my mouth.' Suguru said as he traced the pattern of his pants with his fingers.

'I think that when you're finally in front of him, the words will come.' Hiro said, as he laid a hand on Suguru's shoulder comfortably. 'And if they don't, Seguchi-san will probably know. I don't know him all that well. But even though he is a bit protective of you, he seems to care a great deal.'

* * *

During the next practice Suguru was abnormally silent. He was mad at Tohma, which he knew. But how more the thought, the more he got the feeling he was indeed acting childish.

His deeds spoke against his words now. In the beginning it hadn't been like that, but now he started to notice it. He wanted to be seen as and adult so much by Tohma he had started to act like a child to get it.

And somewhere deep inside he felt a bit guilty. Tohma was a busy man. And he had taken time he shouldn't have arguing with the man. Acting as the child the thought he was treated like. Making everybody around him worried about him.

Bet at least one good thing came from it all, eh thought as he shot a look towards his boyfriend. His Hiroshi Nakano. A happy grin appeared on his face and he sighed. And then and there Suguru Fujisaki decided that as soon as he saw his cousin he would talk to him.

But it wasn't Tohma he saw first…

'Fujisaki-kun! Fujisaki-kun!' He turned around so quickly he was afraid he would trip over his own feet. Luckily he didn't. a bit bewildered he looked at the happy-go-lucky singer in front of him. 'Tohma-chan wanted to ask you something.' He said and Suguru frowned. If Tohma wanted to ask him something, then why was Ryuichi here? His surprise must've shown on his face because Ryuichi continued with a grin. 'But because you're mad at him he asked me to tell you.'

'Tell me what?'

'That we want you to play with us!'

'Huh?' Suguru frowned. With Ryuichi that could mean anything. 'A song, Fujisaki-kun! Would you play a song for our new CD with us? Tohma would really, really like that!'

Wait, stop! Suguru's mind halted and for a moment he was shocked. He was offered the change to play a song with Nittle Grasper? And Tohma would like him playing with them? So Tohma wasn't all that mad at him, then. It didn't take long for Suguru to grin and say yes. It wasn't a hard choice. To be able to play a song with Nittle Grasper was a wondrous thing. But Tohma really wanting him to was best of all.

With a grin on his face he entered the recording studio again. Shuichi and K both frowned and Hiro walked towards him. 'What happened, eh? You look so happy now.' Suguru looked up at him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Hiro grinned down at him and then Suguru let out a laugh. 'I just came across Sakuma-san in the hallway and -'

'O, cool! Sakuma-san is around! I'm going to talk to him later.' Shuichi interrupted but Suguru only rolled his eyes. 'He asked if I wanted to play a song with them for the new Nittle Grasper CD!' He said and Shuichi gave him a big grin. 'And,' he said softly as he looked up at Hiro, 'He said Tohma-kun really wanted me to.' And with a grin Hiro bent down and kissed him.

He was a bit nervous as he waited for Tohma. He had decided to talk to the man before recording started. 'Suguru-kun.' He looked up to see Tohma standing there, ugly fur coat and all. 'I'm glad you decided to play with us!'

'Yeah, well. It's an honour to do so.' Suguru answered genuinely and Tohma smiled. 'For me, too. It's an honour to play together with the one who has gotten so far at this young age a life.' At these words Suguru blushed and looked to the side. 'I'm sorry. For yelling at you and… all the other things. It's just that…' And he fell silent. He wanted to say so badly that he had felt treated like a child. But as he had thought, the words wouldn't come.

'I made you feel that you were still a small child.' Tohma suddenly said and Suguru's head shut up. 'Y-yeah.' He got out softly and Tohma smiled. 'Perhaps I was a bit overprotective. I'll try to keep it in mind.' He said, but with a teasing grin he added: 'But you'll always be my little cousin.'

'Of course.' Suguru answered. 'But also my boss and rival. But most of all my cousin.' He said as he gave his cousin a quick embrace before disappearing into the recording studio.

At the end of recording Hiro was waiting outside for Suguru. He grinned widely as he saw his boyfriend walking towards him with one of the biggest smiles on his face. 'How did things go?' He asked and Suguru grinned. 'Good.'

'And with Seguchi-san?'

'Perfect.' Suguru answered as he gave Hiro a fast peck on his cheek. Hiro grinned naughtily and leaned forwards, kissing Suguru full on the lips.

Yeah, Suguru thought at that moment, life's pretty perfect.

**Owari**


End file.
